I never knew I could feel like this
by TheFallenAngel46
Summary: Audrey Kushieda just can't seem to get her life back on track. After a series of misfortunes she gives up on everything. But after a red haired boy saves her from herself she sees herself slowly falling for him. Rated T for language and dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ah, a new fic. Let's just hope I don't discontinue this one too. Joking.**

 **... Or am I?**

 **Let's hope I am, because I have a whole plan for this fiction!**

 **Posted on: 15th July 2017**

 **Disclaimer: my name ain't JK Rowling. Alright, buddy?**

 **Rated T due to language and dark themes. If you are light hearted then you should probably take heed of this when reading.**

* * *

"How will you be on your own?" My best friend, Phoenix asked me. She was practically my sister, after I lost my mother to cancer at the age of 12 her family had been taking care of me. This was because her mother was my godmother. We had known each other since the age of five, and it felt strange leaving the house I now called home.

"I don't quite know frankly. I'll probably be homesick for a few days and then maybe I'll be fine afterwards." I shrugged as I sent a few more bags with magic.

"You know that's not what I mean Aud... It's just.." She sighed at me and began waving a hand in a circular motion. "I'm concerned. After everything that's happened I don't think you should go so soon. It's only been 3 days since you got a job and you're already not eating properly." She voiced her concerns to me and I bit my lip. I grabbed another bag from the red sofa on the side of the room. I ran my hand over the velvet of it, slowly tracing the golden details of it as I thought of what to say.

"We don't know what's going to happen to us in the future Phoen. But it's worth finding out. If I stay here for the rest of my life who knows what I'm going to miss out on. I know it's hard for you, it's hard for me too but... You've got to let me live my own life. I'll get though this. Just, let me try and do it on my own." She pursed her lips as her blue eyes began watering. I've always envied her upturned eyes, blue with purple specs in them. They looked so... Different. Beautiful, compared to my down turned plain black ones. I brushed aside one of her mink brown hair strands and pat her on the head. "It's alright, Phoen. It's alright." I hugged her as she began to cry in my shoulder. "Don't look so downhearted, I'm probably not going to see you for a while. I don't want to remember our last meeting as some depressing thing." I poked her cheek as she gave me a small smile.

"Right. Sorry. This is so not like me. Oh Gosh. I still can't believe our little Audrey is leaving." I rolled my eyes as she said this.

"Shut up. I'm older than you by 4 months you idiot!" I grumbled.

"Whatever. Facts. Anyways, how is the apartment?! Is it nice?! Is it big?!" Now there was the annoying Phoenix I knew.

"You went to see it with me..." I stated in an almost questioning tone.

"Oh... Yeah, I did. It was nice."

"Yup. I should probably go now. I've moved my stuff there and I need to unpack and stuff. Bye Phoen." I said as I hugged her one more time. Her thin lips moved to say something I couldn't quite hear. It looked a lot like goodbye.

* * *

It took me three days to settle into my apartment. I didn't have many things but it took a while having to buy things for the apartment too.

I felt exhausted after having to move my bed into my bedroom by myself. I could've asked for help from one of my friends but I didn't feel like being near people today. That happened a lot to me. I suffered from PDD which stands for Persistent Depressive Disorder, it's also known as Dysthymia since PDD is also the name of a learning disorder. I didn't tell people about this, the only person who knew was Phoenix.

When I was born my mother named me Audrey Jayna Aoi Kushieda **[1]**. Kushieda was the name of my father's family, Aoi was the name of his mother. He died before I was born but mum would tell me that I looked a lot like him. I had inherited her ash blonde hair and the shape of her eyes however. Jayna was the name of my mother, I had loved it ever since I was young. I was told that my family was a prestigious family in Japan, mum had said that one day she'd take me there.

We never went.

I planned to go by myself but Phoen said that I wasn't allowed because it was dangerous for a lonely girl like me. Apparently there was a lot of crime that happened in Japan. She said, as if I didn't know about that. My family was from Nagasaki, mum had told me. She had told me that an atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki on the 9th of August 1945. She told me that thankfully my grandparents weren't in Nagasaki at the time. They had apparently fled to Australia in 1943 and came back in 1980 to rebuild our family home. She had also given me a wedding photo of hers.

I looked over to the left side of the fireplace mantle where I had framed the magical photo. My mother was standing next to my father and my grandparents were on both sides of them. My maternal grandparents had died 2 years before I was born and my paternal ones were living in Japan. I would contact them once a month at least. They would tell me about my parents sometimes and how they remember coming to England and seeing me when I was 10. I still remembered the day I first met them.

My father had black hair and black eyes, he was wearing a suit to match those features. He looked practically identical to me as my mother had said. His nose was the same shape as mine, our cheekbones had the same definition to them, our lips were both small. He was smiling so happily, along with my mother. He was a mix of his parents whilst my mum looked more like her mum. Only inheriting her father's amber eyes.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if they were both alive. What we would have done as a family.

Mum used to tell me stories of when she and dad went to Hogwarts together. She told me how they never really spoke to one another until their 6th year. She told me that he had asked her on a date on Valentine's Day and she agreed because she had a crush on him. She had then told me how they both liked each other and told me that she knew he was the one that day.

 _"That soon?" My 8 year old self asked. Mum heaved a sigh as she showed me a photo of her and dad on their uniforms._

 _"Yeah, that soon. One day Audrey, you'll meet a guy like that. A guy who'll make you feel special, a guy who will love you with all his heart." I rolled my eyes at that._

 _"That sounds boring mum. Why do I need a guy?"_

 _"Well you don't need a guy. You'll find someone my love. Someone that makes you feel like that."_

 _"That's not the point mum! Why do I need someone in my life. Love sounds boring. And I'm not into girls. That's just... Well it's not weird really. Our nursery teacher married a lady. She was really cool too. Her wife would bring us cookies sometimes!" I told my mum, throwing my hands up as I made gestures with them._

 _"You may think this now but I know you'll think different later my little flower."_

 _"Say mum... Say I did fall in love with a guy. How would I know?" My mum lulled over that for a moment._

 _"Well... You just know. But, I'm going to give you a warning. Don't force love. And don't think that someone may the one if something about them doesn't feel right."_

The memory burned in the back of my mind. I remembered it a lot. My mum was sorted into Hufflepuff whilst my father was sorted into Gryffindor. It made sense that my mother was sorted into Hufflepuff, she was goldhearted and loyal. She never moved on after dad died. She simply told me that we had one true love in life, and he was hers.

I looked to the picture on the right side to see a picture of the four of us, my grandparents, mum and me. Mum was diagnosed with cancer that year and my grandparents wanted to see her that year. The last time I saw them was at the funeral.

At the center there was a picture of 5 people. It was of me, Cristal, Phoenix, Fred and George. The person who took the photo was my friend, Lee Jordan. Cristal's black hair had a streak of red and purple in it. Her grey eyes glinted mischievously. The photo was taken in my 5th year.

I had placed another photo there, but I didn't know why I still kept it. I got up and turned the photo upwards. The man who was kissing my cheek in the photo was my ex-boyfriend Rudolf. The photo was enchanted and his dark brown hair began to move because of the wind. I was smiling widely, playing with a strand of my hair. His dark grey eyes were twinkling with happiness in the photo. We looked so perfect, so in love. I still wondered what went wrong. Before I truly remembered. I didn't like thinking about what happened. I didn't like remembering what he had done to me. I tried to forget, to remember the better times. I bit my cheek as I turned the photo down again.

I felt exhausted. I remember hearing Phoenix tell me how I wasn't eating properly but I shrugged it off. I didn't feel like eating right now, I was too tired to do that.

I walked on the wooden floor, my bare feet making a small noise every time I walked. My room was in different shades of blue, with a soft blue carpet. I got changed into my pyjamas and fell asleep on the red sheets of the bed.

* * *

2 Months Later

Phoenix's POV

"Sorry I'm late Phoen. Epp." Cristal said as she nearly slipped. She was wearing a purple top with a necklace that Audrey gave her, along with light blue distressed jeans and white trainers. She had her wavy black hair tied up in a ponytail, in her hair was a streak of purple and she wearing dark eyeliner. She tucked her diagonal fringe behind her ear, looking around. "Where's Aud?" She asked cheerfully but I shook my head. Her smile dropped in an instant and started calling her on this Muggle thing called a 'phone'.

Cristal made us use these 'phones' when we had to contact one another quickly. She told us about these things called text messages and phone calls. She had payed for both of our phones, buying an updated version for Christmas every 2 years. She had told us about these things called apps. And Audrey picked it up really quickly, which wasn't very surprising I guess. Audrey had heard of a phone before Cristal mentioned it because her mother was Muggleborn and they'd shop at Muggle stores sometimes before her mother passed away. Cristal herself was a Muggleborn, her mother was a doctor and her father was part of the military. Anyways, after Cristal told us about this, Audrey had gotten the hang of it in the span of 3 minutes and began teaching Cristal things instead.

"Voicemail." Her usually jovial voice was filled with disbelief and after a second she began yelling on the phone. "Voicemail?! Voicemail?! Really?! At least pick up your fucking phone Audrey. We've been waiting here for you and you didn't even message us. Argh... I can't even. Come on Aud... I really miss you.. " she softly finished.

"She messaged me. She said sorry but she has plans. Well that's clearly bullshit. She doesn't have any plans. Who would she even make plans with?" I grumbled. I got up and picked up my keys, rapping them against the table. "Maybe just one drink before we leave..."

"I'm gonna get a brownie." Cristal told me causally, looking around herself.

"From where?" I asked. She simply sighed and gave me a forlorn look.

"Me and Aud used to come here a lot. We always complained about how they should serve brownies here and stuff and they actually listened to us... After we complained for the millionth time." I laughed at that.

"Sounds like you both."

After I chugged down a drink and Cristal had bought around 6 brownies, maybe more, we apparated outside Audrey's door. I banged on her door and Cristal was so startled she nearly dropped the brownies she was holding in her hands. "Don't make me come in there using force." I threatened half-heartedly, I heard a mumble that sounded like 'piss off'. I used the 'alohomora' charm and went inside.

I have no idea how the apartment looked like before but it looked like a mess now.

Boxes of pizza and take away were lying on the floor. The table had around 8 boxes of Chinese food and half of them weren't even finished. The sofa had a load of dirty clothes dumped on it and the kitchen looked terrible. There were pieces of glass scattered on the floor, a knife with freshly stained blood on it. The dishes were all over the place. Some in the sink. Some broken and lying on the floor. I tried not to step on them but it was hard to, when I was wearing heels.

"Audrey? Where are you?" I called out. I heard a grumble and I went over to the living space of the apartment. Audrey had just come out of her room, her ash blonde hair was now a light blonde colour. Her eyes had changed into a green shade. Her hair was a mess, full of visible tangles. Her shirt was plain black with long sleeves and she was wearing loose tracksuit bottoms. She was wearing white socks and grey slippers. The bags under her eyes were visible and she glared at me.

"Breaking and entering is illegal." She plainly stated. She moved her hand to brush away a strand, there was a red liquid that looked like blood on her hand. "Oh this?" She gestured towards her face. "Charms don't last forever you know. I just renew them every so often so they don't wear off."

"What... Happened to you?" Cristal asked, her voice nearly broken from shock. "What happened?" She let out a bitter laugh.

"Don't ask me what the fuck happened, like you care. Just piss off. Fuck off all of you. I don't want you here. I don't need you here. I'm perfectly fine you deluded bitches." She huffed at the two of us.

Cristal was about to say something when I cut her off, "It's alright Cris. I can tell where we're not wanted."

"Good." Audrey said as she pointed towards the door. "Exit's that way, and don't bother coming back."

When we left the room I heard something like the noise of glass shattering. I looked over to Cristal and shook my head. "Now's not the time to go back." I told her.

"What're we gonna do?" Cristal asked me.

"I've got an idea. But I'm not sure if this is going to work."

"What're you going to do?" She asked.

"Leave it to me, you'll find out soon enough."

* * *

The night had been exhausting but I didn't feel tired since I had a fuel of adrenaline coursing through my veins, pumping me. I sat down on my purple bed, the memory foam mattress sinking as I sat down. I got a piece of parchment and began tapping my pen against my knee. I didn't quite know how to put this down into a letter, it seemed too personal. I looked at the time, we had come early since it was now ten thirty pm. Great, he's probably awake.

I grabbed my leather jacket and apparated to the 'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes'.

It was cold but it wasn't windy. Living in England meant you had to get used to having crappy weather eleven twelfth of the time... If you were lucky that is **[2]**. The weather in England was something that most people would complain about but it was also something they'd talk a lot about.

It seemed like my timing was perfect because I came out to see Fred leaving the shop. He seemed startled when he saw me.

"Phoenix? Gosh, it's been a long time." He happily said as he strolled over to me. "Where's Cristal and Audrey?" I shook my head at him.

"I didn't come her for small talk. I'm sorry. I'd love to catch up but I came to ask you for a favour." "Yeah?" I nodded at him.

"It's about Audrey..."

* * *

 **A/N *whistle* Woah. Alright. I think I did pretty good for this chapter. Jk. I'm fricking hungry, obviously I did a bad job. Potentially...**

 **I haven't had anything since breakfast which was a sandwich... I cri. It's like 4 20 so I can't have food for the next 40 minutes because the takeaway down the road opens at 5. Rip me.**

 **Anyways, enough about my clearly crappy life. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I will *try* very hard not to make the next chapter as depressing as this one.**

 **But, Fred's gonna be in the next chapter which decreased the depression of that chapter by 20% -**

 **[1] Kushieda isn't a real surname as far as I'm concerned. I've checked on Google and there is no history of this name on there. I'm sorry if I've offended any Japanese people since I'm not really Japanese myself. If I have done anything to offend you please, let me know. But for the sake of this story and because of the fact that I love that surname let's just act like it sorta maybe kinda is.**

 **[2] I may have slightly exaggerated the terrible weather in England but in my defence. It is terrible! Like right now it's cloudy and cold and stuff... IN THE MIDDLE OF JULY!**

 **Right. Quick message to my co-author who I didn't inform about the existence of this fic to despite the fact that I messaged her like 30 times at 1 and she still hasn't seen my messages. I'm sorry Nemmie. No I see you rolling your eyes. Stop. No. It's not my fault you didn't read my messages Nems but I'm being the bigger person (despite the fact that I'm shorter) and saying sorry. Be happy.**

 **Haha. Rate and review please.**

 **-Leo**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N right... Story time! Btw, hey Nemmie... Haha... (Don't send this to Mesh, she's gonna kill me)

Warning: Mentions of suicide, if you are faint hearted... Well erm... Don't read it or something, I'm not quite sure what to say. I'm not a very serious person. Jk, I can be serious when I need to... Oh, the time is now? Oops... Sorry... Anyways this part is mentioned in the second section. Your choice what to do.

Posted on: 17th July 2017

Disclaimer: Unfortunately. I have no rights to Harry Potter..Or anything else.. #sad times

oOoOo

Audrey's POV

I wasn't quite sure what I expected when the door opened. I should've known it was them, who else could it have been. Half the people who cared for me were dead or had left me by myself.

After they left, I began throwing things on the sofa at things around me, I couldn't do anything about what I was doing. I felt like I was in a glass box just watching myself, I knew this probably wasn't the case. I had to stop, I just had to. This wasn't healthy and I knew that.

I fell to the ground, sobs wracking my body.

That was another thing about having dysthymia[1, you'd rarely be able to feel happy things properly.

I just stayed there for a while, crying to myself.

When I was done, I got up and walked over to the Bluetooth speaker on the edge of the coffee table. It was a miracle that I hadn't trashed it yet. I grabbed my phone from the sofa and played a song from my 'hopeless' playlist.

True Friends by Bring Me The Horizon

Sounds like my life.

I sat on the sofa and leaned back on it, rested my head facing upwards towards the celling. I turned my head to the side and realised how much of a mess I had made. The apartment no longer held the same homely feeling it had during the first week of when I moved in.

I sighed as I grabbed my wand from within my now, light blonde, hair. The charm would wear off after roughly an hour and I would have to renew it every now and then. I would tie my hair up sometimes by placing my wand there to hold it. It was because I was too lazy to do something else but I planned to make a ring or bracelet that I could somehow hide my wand in. It seemed like a long shot but I learnt that anything was possible ever since I became friends with the twins.

I still remember how paranoid Phoenix was at the start of 6th year when I told her I wanted to be friends with the duo.

But that's a story for another time.

I bit my lip as I heard the lyrics to the song that was still playing, singing along under my breath. "I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you, 'cause I'll forgive but I'll never forget you. Don't you know, don't you, true friends stab you in the front."

That part spoke to me the most I guess, ever since one of my best friends Meliá left halfway through 5th year. No words said to us. She contacted us after a year saying that she went to Durmstrang now and that it was unlikely that we'd ever see her again.

Yeah, that was a lie. We saw her at the Triwizard tournament and she barely spoke to us, she was too busy gossiping about the five of us and how I used to go out with Rudolf. I heard her say something like, 'I'm pretty sure he broke it off. Comparing the two of them, you can see clearly who the better side is. I'm not surprised to be honest, they seemed too perfect. I bet he was faking it too, since Audrey's clearly too weak to handle a break up with someone like him. Argh... I can't believe I was friends with someone who had a tainted bloodline likeher.'

All I knew was that I lost my friend to a school that practised the dark arts.

I wasn't sure how long I sat on the floor walling around in self pity. All I knew was the song on the playlist had changed to'Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran'a song that reminded me of my mother. The last words she said to me echoed in my head and I bit on my lip before I felt something warm go down my cheek. The line that hurt more was when he said how his dad told him not cry because I never really had a dad there for me. He was gone, watching over me like my mother was now. Probably disappointed in me, ashamed of what I'd become.

"Oh, I'm in pieces it's tearing me up but I know a heart that's been broke is a heart that's been loved..."

Oh, what I'd do to hear my mum sing to me in Japanese dialect again, afterwards she'd always say something like 'Your father taught me Japanese back when we went to Hogwarts, I want to teach you how to speak Japanese too. Undoubtedly you'd have a beautiful voice like your aunty does.' I never really questioned what happened to my aunty, no one spoke about her much. My grandparents never mentioned her to me and my mother only said that she'd done something and now she wasn't a part of the family. I had become fluent in Japanese but I rarely used it, only when I sang Japanese songs.

My friends used to say that my singing voice wasn't that bad but I never believed them, weren't they suppose to say stuff like that to make me feel better. I guess I was never able to trust anyone properly apart from phoenix after I broke up with Rudolf in that December during 5th year.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock on the door. "Yeah... I'm coming..." I said.

"What happened to you?" Were the first words that came out of his mouth. Red hair, brown eyes, an upturned tip of the nose. It was Fred Weasley.

"Well, good morning to you too Freddie." I crossed my arms and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I pulled the sleeves of my shirt to cover my hands. I didn't need more people knowing about my dysthymia.

"Erm... Sorry to burst your bubble love[2, but it's night time."

"Right, I knew that. I was checking to see if you knew that." I quickly lied. Real smooth Audrey, real smooth.

I left the door open as I cleaned up the apartment with the wand I didn't realise I was holding. "Sorry about the mess... It's just... I'm going through a rough patch." He just nodded at me in understanding.

"I guess we all lost something because of the battle of Hogwarts." He softly said.

"I saw him there again. I wasn't able to kill him... Why wasn't I able to kill him Fred? I could've done it damn it! I could've killed him! I'm such afuckingcoward,why? Why didn't I do it? Why couldn't I do it..."

"Hold on a second love. Sit down, calm down. Kill who? What happened?" He asked as he made me sit on the sofa.

"I saw him. It was him."

"Who? You're not making much sense Audrey." I pressed my lips.

"Rudolf." I said, tapping my fingers on the sofa. I always knew Fred didn't like Rudolf, I never quite knew why. Obviously I didn't like him now, I knew who he really was. I could see him tense from the corner of my eye.

"Oh. Him." Was all he managed to say.

"I'm gonna turn the kettle on, want any tea?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Thanks." Was all he said.

When I came back with two teacups after around 5 minutes and sat down on the right side of the sofa. "What happened to your arm?" He asked.

"Crap.." I murmured to myself. I didn't realise that my sleeve had slightly gone up, how stupid I was being. He grabbed it lightly but I still winced in pain.

"Sorry." He said to me. "Do you have a first aid kit?" I nodded at him.

"It's in my room, on my dresser. Do you even know first aid?"

"Yeah, enough for this." He said as he left. He soon returned with it in his hands. I didn't register what he was doing, pulling things out of it and placing them back in. I bit my lip so I didn't begin wincing when he put rubbing alcohol on my wounds. "Don't you dare do this again. I already lost you once. I'm not losing you again."

"I nearly lost you once too." I stated, talking about the explosion that Fred had somehow managed to endure but not without some injuries. He was perfectly fine now though thankfully. "And whacha mean you're not going to lose me again. You didn't lose me in the first place mate."

"No I did. I lost you back in 5th year."

"We weren't friends in 5th year." I pointed out.

"Didn't mean I didn't notice how you were back then."

"I know she sent you here." I told him as he was stitching my cut, he turned his head towards me.

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb, it was Phoen." He heaved a sigh at that.

"She cares about you Aud, we all do. But I think you forget that sometimes. We're all concerned about you, when Phoenix told me what happened... I didn't come here because she told me to."

"Really?" I asked, looking up to him.

"Yeah. I couldn't bear to hear about it all happening. I can't believe this is happening at the same time. It's just... It's alright Audrey, it's alright not to be alright. It's alright to be hurt, it's alright to cry, to let it all out. It doesn't make you weak. It's OK to be weak sometimes."

"Huh?"

"You must think that either you're being very subtle or that I'm an idiot. The latter may potentially be right but the first one is like completely wrong." I burst out laughing.

"You're really not an idiot, despite the results you got in school. I didn't even know that you knew the word 'latter'."

"I stole Phoenix's dictionary and began teaching myself words of this English that people speak in." I burst into laughter and what he said and he gave me a small smile. "There we go, I made you laugh. A genuine laugh." I smiled at that.

"Yeah, I guess you did."

"You look way more pretty when you smile, ya know. Frowning doesn't suit your face." He said, poking my cheek.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." He hummed in approval. "Oh yeah I nearly forgot to ask, why did you change your appearance?"

How was I suppose to answer that?

"Erm... It's stupid. Leave it."

"Audrey... Look, I'm not going to press but I doubt it's be stupid. People do things for a reason. You must have a valid reason for doing that."

"How do I explain this... Erm..." I sighed. "Well... I kept seeing them Fred. I-I couldn't handle it. It just reminded me too much."

"Your parents, right?" He asked, I just nodded at him. I could see the charm wear off. Had it really been an hour since I had last charmed myself again? I sure didn't feel like it.

"Isn't that the point? There's a part of them that lives inside you Audrey. Don't forget that. They're looking out for you, they don't want you to be like this because of them."

"You're right. Thanks Fred." I looked up at him but he was standing in front of an open front door winking at me. "Anytime sweetheart."

ooOoo

A/N Haha. I was planning to make this chapter longer but ya know... It was going to be too fast paced if I added the part I was going to add. Aka the start of the next chapter.

I'm planning to make this fic quite short. Roughly upto 15 chapters maybe a few more, probably a few less.

There's also probably going to be a few time skips in this story because... It's short?

I'm planning to reveal what really happened with Rudolf in two or three chapters. And erm spoiler: it's not pretty.

Also who's Meliá? Found out in the next chapter... Probably.

[1] Dysthymia is a real thing people. Dysthymia is long term depression. Sometimes the person who has dysthymia doesn't even realise it because it feels so normal. If you want more information on this then search it up. I'm not a physiatrist, sorry.

[2] In England people tend to refer to people as 'love' a lot. It doesn't really mean anything. I mean, our school librarian says it to us. Some random lady that bumped into me in the mall said it to me. It's just a normal thing in England I guess...

Anyways rate and review.

IM NOT CRAZY BTW!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Hey everyone! How's your day?**

 **Hmm... Am I forgetting something... Unfortunately I am...**

 **Disclaimer: Because I'm on a different level of epic than our beloved author, JK Rowling.**

ooOoo

One month later.

"You and Fred hang out a lot now, you're getting awfully close." Cristal said, nudging me as I rolled my eyes at her.

"It's not like that. Hmm... This looks nice." I replied as I browsed through the sections of clothes. I had rested my eyes on a white blouse with a rounded collar.

"Yeah. It'd suit you Audrey." She plainly said as she picked up a purple off the shoulder top with a unicorn in the middle. "Really?" I asked her as she gave me a strange look. "What? I like unicorns, alright? Remember our 3rd year when we heard about the unicorns that died?"

"Yeah. And you grabbed my sleeve and began crying, yelling out 'why did they have to leave us... Why'. You ruined my new shirt."

"Right. Sorry about that."

"Meh. I don't really care anymore, that was like... Oh gosh... Years ago."

"Ah Audrey, never were one for maths."

"Well sorry for not being interested in something that's practically useless. Remember arithmancy? Oh gosh... I was just terrible at that! And my personality was completely wrong. It made me want to kill myself. I remember how badly that lesson went. In 4th year Rudolf said-" I stopped midway and looked down.

"Leave it, Aud." She said, her usually quirky voice was serious, I sighed at that.

"You know you've changed now that you're with Fred a lot more. I don't know how to explain it..." She told me, waving her hand in front of me.

"In a good way or a bad way?"

"Good way? I guess." She shrugged as she looked at a plain black long sleeve dress. "This would suit you Audrey."

"And this would suit you." I said, holding up a blue and white polka-dot dress. Which resulted in her squealing and me cradling my ear because of the fact that it was really high pitched.

"Sorry..." She said for the millionth time, as we walked up to the till.

"It's alright." I replied for the millionth time.

"Remember when Mel fell off her broomstick in 1st year?" The memory of that made me double over in laughter.

"Oh god she was all like 'look at me I'm on a broomstick, I can fly blah blab' and then she steered the broomstick to a tree and got stuck there. Oh gosh... I still remember Madam Hoot rolling her eyes and using magic to get her out of there."

"Yeah. I still can't believe she did what she did. How's work going by the way?"

"After Voldemort died well... There haven't been as many dark wizards. Of course, that's a good thing. Anyways, we have leads on a dark wizard who's working with one of Voldemort followers who we haven't captured yet. Unfortunately, we don't have any idea who they are. We're trying track them down but they're quite smart."

"You're complimenting your opponents?"

"Why not? I'm just stating the truth. Besides, it's not like ignoring what they're good at is going to help me. I need to realise what they're good at."

"Right. That makes sense I suppose."

"... Cristal I dunno why but I get this bad feeling when I think of those dark wizards, despite not knowing who they are."

"Maybe it's because of your father?"

"... I still don't know who killed him Cris, and that scares me. What if the murderer was someone I knew. It sounds stupid, I know. But..." She shook her head at me.

"It's really not stupid but the murderer is either dead or locked up in Azkaban."

"That's... Not quite what I mean. It's just... I keep remembering what mum said to me, ya know. After she told me how dad died... It's just... She died after a week of telling me.." I told her, rubbing my eyes to prevent tears. "She told me that dad died a hero. 'He was brave' she would tell me 'I can see that in your eyes, hana. You're more like him than you think. I wish you'd have known him, known how much of a great man he was.' Hana means flower in Japanese by the way Cris." I told her, feeling a feeling of emptiness wash over me after I recited the words she had said to me, the memory burning at the back of my mind with a great amount of clarity.

"Hey. Stop." I said to Cristal as she walked right past the cafe in the mall that we were going to have coffee in.

"Oh. Sorry." She said as she walked back to where I was.

"Don't worry about it, not the first time this has happened." I sighed as I pushed open the door and sat on a seat next to a window.

"You really like window seats, don't you?" She asked.

"Yeah. Me and mum would sit at them all the time. Apparently she sat with dad next to a window on their first date." I informed.

We decided to walk back to the three-bedroom house the three of us lived in now. Phoenix had insisted that I live with her after the whole suicide attempt thing, apparently Fred snitched, so after hours of arguing with her I agreed. We asked Cristal if she wanted to live with us and she jumped up and down while screaming that she obviously would. Sadly, this meant I had to pack all my things AGAIN and then unpack... Again.

"Argh... I'm exhausted Aud."

"Yeah? You made me carry everything too."

"Sorry, you're stronger than me though." She stated and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well you are right..." I began, "Oi Cris, get ya keys out. My hands are full."

"Okie-dokie." She childishly bounced up to the step in front of the blue front door of our house. By the time I got there the front door was open for me.

"Well that covers our shopping for a while."

"A while equals to two weeks, doesn't it Aud?" Cristal asked, sitting down on the black reclining leather 3-seat sofa.

"Hehe. Guilty." I giggled, raising my arms dramatically.

"Where's Phoenix?" She asked me.

"You worry too much, she's just finishing off work."

"Oh. Yeah! I forgot she had a life." She jokingly said.

"Don't let her catch you say that. She'd probably go all sarcastic on you and then you'd get all sarcastic and then you know I'm gonna get sarcastic. It'll be like World War 3 - young adult females edition. Anyways, I'm gonna make myself some lemon and ginger tea. Want any?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"I don't know what to make for dinner... Maybe rice? Everyone loves rice."

"Apart from that Muggle kid who went to our school. You remember him."

"Giraffe boy?" I immediately said. We called him giraffe boy because he was really tall with light blonde hair[ **1]**.

"Yeah him."

"In all honesty, he wasn't all that bad. Though, he did annoy me sometimes."

"Everyone annoys you at some point Audrey."

"Especially you... I'm joking, don't cry."

"I'm not crying..."

"Anyways I'm going to go make dinner."

"I'll be here watching TV. Don't mind me."

ooOoo

"I'm home!" Phoenix called as I heard the door close.

"Welcome home Phoen." I called from the kitchen.

"Hey duck." I heard Cristal say from the living room, duck being a nickname given to her because of some duckling she had forced us to live with in first year. It didn't affect Cristal all too much, she was in Ravenclaw. A completely different house to us.

"I'm nearly done with dinner." I told her as she walked into the kitchen.

"You really didn't have to." She told me but I shook my head.

"I really did. I live here too, you can't just do everything. Besides, me and Cristal are too lazy to wash our dishes." I joked.

"Well that's true. What would you guys do without me. Honestly." She shook her head playfully.

"Guys... I think I'm going to die... I want food. Cristal hungry." She childishly complained causing me and Phoenix to simultaneously roll our eyes.

"Oh, right. I'm going out later on." I plainly told the duo as we sat down at the 4 seat wooden dining table.

"Who're you going with?" Phoenix asked me, wriggling her eyebrows at me. Cristal nudged her and leaned in as if to tell a secret.

"It's obviously Fred."

"Actually, it isn't. I'm meeting up with Ang, George and Fred. Lee was about to come but he got called in for work." Cristal sighed in dismay.

"And here I was, thinking you were going out tonight with your prince charming."

"I-It's nothing like that!" I truthfully stated, my cheeks becoming a crimson shade due to embarrassment. I knew it wasn't true but for the love of God... Why did people's cheeks always have to get red when people say they like someone they don't really like. It's quite annoying really.

"Right. I believe you. You don't like him in that way now but somewhere in the near future I'll probably catch you making out or something." Phoenix waved her hand.

"Gosh you two. This is why I never will tell you and never did tell you if I had a crush on someone."

"You told us about Rudolf." Cristal pointed out.

"But she never told us about the 26 other boyfriends she's been with."

"26?! You been counting?" I incrediously asked her, my eyes wide open.

"Yeah. Obviously. Though in all honesty, about two thirds of them didn't last more than 3 days."

"Wow. Thanks Phoen. Makes me feel a lot better." She gave me a sarcastic smile and said, "Happy to help."

ooOoo

"You've changed so much Audrey!" Angelina gushed. I was wearing a wine red high neck skater dress with black heels.

"Not really... I think." She simply shook her head at me.

"I didn't mean it that way, you've... Generally changed, I suppose. Of course not in a bad way. You seem more at ease with yourself I suppose."

"Oh, erm... Thank you?"

"Don't worry. It's a compliment." She winked at me.

"I like the way you did your hair. Looks nice on you."

"Thank you. Nice shirt." I nodded to the Gryffindor shirt she was wearing. My hand instinctively went through the side of my hair that I had done in a waterfall braid.

"So what's the deal with them." I leaned over the table to ask Fred when Angelina went to the bathroom and George went to get us drinks. We were currently in some Muggle pub called 'The Red Lion.'[ **2]**.

"You don't know?" He responded as if there was something I was clearly missing, I shook my head. "OK, let's go back go the starting point, 6th year. Yule ball. George asked out Angelina after you teased him about not having a date. We all knew that George had a crush on Ang. I also vividly remember that we went to the yule ball together and you were wearing this red and gold dress-"

"Hey sweetie, I didn't ask for your whole life story. Recount the yule ball another time. Just tell me what happened next."

"Well anyways, I found out later on that George had the guts to kiss Ang. Who'd have thought? Not me, I say. Well yeah, after that they began to date secretly but didn't tell anyone because they wanted to see if they were serious about each other or not. And then Voldemort came back and the war started. You pretty much know it from there I suppose." I nodded at him.

"Darn Volde. Always ruining everything." I half-jokingly said.

"I don't think you've said a truer thing." He said, sorrow present in his voice.

"Oh gosh... I am so, so, so very sorry. Oh gosh. I can't believe how insensitive I was being. Oh god. I am so, so, so sorry." I hid my face in my hands.

"Hey. Look at me... Come on Audrey. Please. Just look at me." I removed my hands from my face and reluctantly looked at him.

"It's alright. Stop hiding your beautiful face from me, alright." He joked, poking the side of my cheek gently causing me to smile.

"It's really not that pretty." I countered.

"Are you kidding? It's like-" We heard a cough behind us and turned around to see Angelina with an arm around a George, whose hands were occupied with the drinks he was bringing to the table.

"Guys. Please stop flirting. It makes me feel uncomfortable to watch my twin brother and a close friend flirt with one another." George teased as he placed the drinks on the table.

"I could say the same thing, Gred."

"He got you good." I glared pointedly only for him to casually dismiss it with a laugh as he pat my head before he went to sit next to Angelina, who sat down just a moment ago.

ooOoo

"Well that night was... Eventful." I stated as I walked besides Fred who was walking me home, we had to take a drunk George back to the apartment on top of joke shop owned by the twins and it was now late. Fred refused to let me go home by myself since I never risked going to my front door using magic. This was due to the fact that we lived in a Muggle neighbourhood and using magic could result in me getting into trouble with the ministry. Instead we had to take an alternative route and apparate inside the forest next to the park we lived a street away from.

"Tell me about it. I'm sorry by the way." He told me and I shook my head.

"Nah. He's my friend too, so don't worry about it. I'll probably prank him or ignore him or something later on."

"I look forward to seeing that." He smiled at me, his face visible in the moonlight. Black eyes met brown and I found out that I couldn't move.

"We're here." I told him.

"I know. I just don't want you to go yet." He straightforwardly told me.

"Alright. I'll stay... Only for a bit though." I told him.

I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing. A voice in my head yelled at me to get away, stay away. That something bad was going to happen. Something I'd regret. But a small part of me wanted to stay since I felt safe with him. I felt like it was alright to not be alright. That I could just be myself with him.

We stood there, gazing into one another's eyes for a while. "I should really get going. They'll worry about me." I quickly said but found myself going closer to him. And to my surprise we were so close already, I just didn't notice it.

I didn't register it when it happened, of course.

It just felt so quick. His hands on my waist, mines on his shoulders. My mind was screaming at me to run inside but I just stood there. His lips touching mines and me... Kissing him back.

It ended way too soon.

I felt us pulling away and I longed to be back with him.

"Erm... Well... I... Erm... Bye." I managed to make out as I hastily turned around to hide the blush that had quickly crept up my neck.

"Hey wait." He stopped me and I turned my head slightly.

"Y-yeah?"Run, you idiot, run!My mind roared at me.

"Well... Mum told me to invite you for dinner next week." He told me.That's probably an excuse to talk to you. For the love of God Audrey. Run. Say no and run you masochist.It said to me.

"Yeah. I'll come." The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Merlin's beard... What have I gotten myself into?!

ooOoo

 **A/N Heyo. Don't ya get all pissed with me, I warned y'all this was gonna be fast paced. Don't worry though. They're not going to get into a relationship in the next chapter... Maybe?**

 **[1] Fun fact: Giraffe boy is actually what I sometimes refer to one of my friends as. He's so fricking tall and has blonde hair. #I'm so short I cri**

 **[2] The Red Lion is a legitimate pub in England. I thinks there's roughly 154 pubs with that name. Maybe more, maybe less.**

 **Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Rate and review.**

 **-Leo**

 **BTW: I'M NOT A GUY!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Whoop, Whoop! Summer vacation! Whoop! Happy times.** **I never want to go to school again.** **But I wanna see my friends...** **The struggle is real.** **Everyone in our year was getting emotional at the end. Haha. (Not gonna lie, so was I.)** **Quick message to my buddies:** **Hey Nemmie. *Waving* Hope you're having a shitty holiday like I am.** **Meshie. I know you're reading, you inconsiderate asshole. Kms, respond to my messages you darn dweeb.**

 **Ok enough personal messages to my racist friends who refuse to reply to my messages for unknown reasons. (Maybe I rambled on about my boyfriend for too long, who knows. Nemmie: He doesn't exist!... This is a story for another time.)**

 **How are your holidays going so far, everyone? Going/gone anywhere?**

 **Disclaimer:Look, I can dream, OK? OK?**

 **Warning: Dark Themes in this chapter.**

oOaoOo

After two days I went out with Lee, Angelina and George. When I came back, I spilt the beans to Phoenix and Cristal because I couldn't take it anymore."He kissed me!" I told them as I threw my heels at the wall whilst walking into the living room where the duo were watching _Beauty and the beas_ t."She looks like Hermione, a bit. Maybe that's her doppelganger." I hummed. "Anyways, he kissed me! Fred Weasley kissed me!"

"Did you kiss him back?" Phoenix asked, pausing the movie and turning her head around from the sofa.

"Yes... I didn't know what to do! I just... I dunno!" I slumped onto the grey velvet armchair next to me, burying my face in the cushion.

"I knew this was going to happen! What did I tell you?! You were going to get hurt because of them!" Phoenix stood up, yelling at me.

"Phoenix..."

"No. Don't 'Phoenix' me! What did I say back in 6th year!" I could see tears in her eyes and it broke my heart. The memory of the day flashed before me.

 _"The Weasley twins? Are you feeling alright? You're both going to get in a load of trouble because of them. They're the biggest troublemakers in school and probably the best pranksters of all time in Hogwarts!" Phoenix barked at me and Cristal._

 _"You worry too much Phoen. We'll be alright." I rolled my eyes. Why did she treat me like I was still a child?_ _"Yeah, you're just prejudging them. They're great people. We don't need your permission anyways. They're not like Mel." Cristal sighed._ _"Damn it Audrey! Can't you see I'm doing this for your own good?! I don't want to see you hurt again... Not after what happened with Rudolf." She told me and I snarled at her._ _"Don't. Tell me what to do. Don't bring him into this. Don't you fucking dare. They're nothing like him." I turned on my heels and hastily walked to the lake._

"You told me not to be their friends... Because I'd get hurt." I quietly whispered.

"Phoenix, don't do that to-"

"Shut up Cris." She yelled.

"Hey, leave her out of this! It's not her fault. It's no one's fault alright?" I yelled back.

"I can't do this Audrey. I can't bare to see you get hurt again."

"I'm not a little fucking girl anymore! Stop treating me like one! You're not my mum! You're not the boss of me!" I argued at her, standing up to meet her height.

"I wouldn't treat you like a child if you didn't act like one!" She said to me and suddenly I remember Rudolf saying the same words to me. I silently walked out of the door, put on my trainers and grabbed my black waterproof jacket from the stand we had in the small front room.

"Where're you going?" Cristal asked me, worry visible in her face.

"Somewhere away from here. I can't be here, not now. I need to go somewhere. Anywhere, until this cools off." She nodded at me, as I shut the door I heard Phoenix murmur to herself.

"It's alright Phoenix. She'll be back. She'll be back."

oOoOo

Whenever I felt sad I would go for a jog or a walk. It was a known psychological fact that going for a walk would generally lighten your mood. I liked strolls, especially during sunset when the hues of colours would paint a beautiful background behind me. I always felt the need to paint it but I would never be able to capture the moment in the short amount of time. A shame really.

Drawing was a small hobby of mines, as was it for my two best friends. Cristal was undoubtedly the best artist out of the three of us, ideas would come alive on a piece of paper in a matter of minutes. I always envied her for taking less time than I did and somehow her art would come out better than mines. I would take a long time drawing something simple like an eye because I would worry about the details, Cristal would tell me to overlook them sometimes but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

One of my most favourite drawings has probably got to be the one of the black and white couloir **(not a typo** ). I had spent roughly a week working on it, spending around 2 to 3 hours a day. I had done a great job with the shading in my opinion.

The stars above me twinkled but I saw grey clouds begin to cover them. Great, it was going to rain.

I didn't want to go home yet, I was still angry at Phoenix for acting like she could dictate my life. I balled my fists up and scowled as I recalled the memory of the event that occured roughly 20 minutes ago.

I didn't feel like going for the night.

But where else was I suppose to go?

I had no one else.

I put my hood over my head and walked through the light rain. I wasn't an idiot, though. This was England, the rain wasn't planning on getting lighter and lighter. Not for a long time.

It probably wasn't a good time to reminisce on my 5th year, when I was out in the rain with Rudolf, both of us outside the astronomy tower. That was the first time he revealed his other side to me. The memory burned inside my head and I felt myself shaking, it wasn't the time for this.

I began to tread on in the rain, humming a tune to myself, I was placed in Gryffindor for a reason. A little rain never did anyone any harm. I heard a cackle in the cloud, a bolt of lightening stuck a few steps in front of me, the blue lightening bolt leaving me stunned for a moment.

A little lightening can do harm however.

I didn't know what to do, so like any rational person I done the most obvious thing in the world.

I ran.

To no clear destination

Well down Audrey.

I don't know how long I was running for, the memory of the past haunting me, driving me crazy, making me run faster. I wanted to crumble to the floor and scream, yell out, let go of the agony. But I couldn't do that, not here. Not in this Muggle neighbourhood, they'd probably call the police. A thunderstorm could last for a long time but this one seemed like a short one, one of those storms where only 5 lightening bolts are let down and then the rain eases down.

My clothes were completely drenched, my hood had come down from the extreme running that I was continuing. I felt cold despite the sweater I was wearing, my light blue jeans wear wearing me down. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks, ducking my head down in attempt to avoid attracting attention.

How far could the nearest forest be?

Apparently, it was a two minute run. Could've been worse.

I finally reached there, collapsing under the shade of the trees that sheltered me from everyone and everything else. I felt pain weighing in my heart, I felt like crumbing to the floor and cry my sorrows out.

And I did.

I also knew what was going to happen. But I didn't care, I couldn't care. Everything around me was just dragging me down, wait no. It was the other way around completely. I was dragging everyone else down. And it wasn't fair, it wasn't right. I screamed. For the first time since I left Hogwarts. I remember when my mother left me, the screams, the nightmares, the constant guilt, the sobs that wracked my body, the incurable pain eating away at me, the nights of endless insomnia.

I heard footsteps but didn't do anything, I felt like screaming again but held my breath, so many tears streaming out of my eyes that my eyes began to hurt, my cheeks began to burn. I pressed my lips as I heard the footsteps approach me.

"If you're going to kill me, just get it over with. At least I'll finally get to see dad." I murmured the last part to myself.

"I'm not planning on killing you love." The voice I immediately recognised, the person I least wanted to talk to, Fredrick Gideon Weasley. No doubt Phoenix or Cristal told him what had happened.

"What a shame. What do you want?" I spat at him, adjusting myself in a upright position and wiping away tears that kept on coming.

"Easy, easy. What's wrong?" He asked me, crouching down beside me and placed an arm around me bringing me closer. I leaned my head down his shoulder, completely forgetting what had happened 2 days ago.

"What isn't the problem, Fred? Everything. Everything is wrong." I cried. "I'm not interested in getting a relationship with anyone." I told him the last part because of what happened the other day.

"What about the other guys?" Fred asked quietly, as if it pained him to ask.

"That was fake. That was to make everyone think that I was alright again. Phoenix acts like I'm some sort of fragile child that could break when you lightly tap it where it was cracked before. I'm not. I don't want to be like that. I just... I don't want to lose in love again. Not after him. Not after Rudolf." I told him, wiping away more tears and attempting to calm myself down.

"You don't have to tell me. But... What happened with him?" His eyes gleaned with concern and I was almost fooled for a moment.

"Stop acting like you care. I've had enough of it, enough of you lot acting like you care about me at all." I yelled but stayed in his grip which tightened around me, I desperatedly tried to shake free of his grip but to no avail.

"Audrey Aoi Jayna Kushieda," I winced at the use of my full name, "We all care about you. I am so, so sorry if it doesn't seem that way at all but we really do. If I didn't care would I be here, would I have been there for you before?" He asked me, running a hand through his now wet hair. The rain has eased down a bit since before and there was no more lightening.

I sighed at what he said. I had to let it out, I hadn't even told anyone the real story. Not even Phoenix.

"You can't tell anyone. You can't. Not even Phoenix knows the whole story. I was afraid of what people would've thought of me because of what happened." I took a deep breath before starting to tell my tale. "I started going out with Rudolf halfway through 4th year, and we were just crazy in love I suppose. Well after my birthday in 5th year he... Changed." I pressed my lips and looked up at the sky before continuing, "He would always act like he owned me. He wouldn't let me talk to some people, he wouldn't let me spend time with Phoenix, Cristal and Meliá as much. He wouldn't let me wear certain things. He would just gaslight me sometimes. I haven't told anyone about this... But... One day he just... He... Did it..."

"Did what?" His voice came out uneasy as if he knew what I was going to say. I shook my head at him. "You don't have to say it."

I let out a deep breath. "I didn't know what to do. I told him not to, begged him even but he wouldn't listen. I screamed for help but no one came. I blamed everyone around me for a while before beginning to blame myself. Of course no one would come. No one cares about a stupid girl like me. The only ones who did were gone. I miss them so much, Freddie... I found out after 2 weeks that I was pregnant with his child. I was so sad, not that I had a child. I loved them, even though their father was a monster. I was sad because I knew we wouldn't be safe, not with him around. When I told him my worse nightmare came true. I shouldn't have told him, I regret it up to this day. He threatened me, told me to get rid of it or he would hurt everyone I loved. I just told him they'd already died, the ones that I loved, and he bought it. He then told me that if I didn't do it he would. I couldn't... I knew it. I loved this child, I didn't want to lose it. But... I lied to him, told him that I had got rid of it. I planned to go home for a while before they were born but... He found out. Meliá had betrayed me. The child was born, a boy. I named him Takashi Humfrey Kushieda. Maybe what I was feeling on the night he was killed was the same thing Lily Potter felt that night Voldemort came to her." I closed my eyes reminiscing on the night. "Brown hair, grey eyes. He was a carbon copy of the man I thought I loved. I loved Takashi though, he was my life. He gave me light when I was surrounded in darkness. Dumbledore knew what happened, wise man he was... One night he found me, Rudolf... He found me. It was night time and I had just put Takashi to bed by telling him a story that my mother had told me about my father. He was such an innocent boy... He didn't deserve it. He only lived for a month... Before that... that _monster_ came and killed him, took my boy away from me... I knew he practised the dark arts but I never knew he would find me... I just... I never believed I deserved happiness after what happened to my son." I told him, tears flooding my eyes.

"Oh, Audrey. I'm so sorry..." He apologised and I shook my head, Fred began to cradle me in his arms and I sobbed.

"It's funny isn't it. The man who killed him walked off laughing while another, who wasn't even involved, apologised for his misdeed. He isn't coming back to me... An apology is useless. I hate it Fred, I hate this feeling. I hate him so much for doing this to me. I hate him for making me feel like this. Merlin knows I'm so pathetic. God, look at me crying and telling you all of this."

"It's not stupid. And you're certainly not pathetic." He shook his head at me. "I don't know what he's been saying to you but it's a load of bullshit."

"He called me names after what he did, like I had any choice. He'd call me a slut and things like that. He told me things like 'no one will ever love you'."

"That's not true." He shook his head.

"Yes it is! I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve love. I don't deserve it all!" I almost shrieked at him as more tears began rapidly falling down my cheeks.

"Audrey it's alright. It's alright. You're alright. Calm down."

"You're right. I'm sorry." I wiped a tear and smiled. The rain had turned very light and slowed down tremendously.

"Hey, that's the Audrey I know with her radiant smile." He smiled and I nudged himself softly.

"I didn't know you knew words like those." I teased.

"Well I make an effort for my smart arse Audrey. We still on for Sunday?" I could hear him laughing as he placed his chin on top of my head.

Sunday?

Oh. The dinner at the Burrow.

"Yeah. I plan on coming... Hey Freddie? Can I ask you a question?" I murmured against his chest.

"Hmm? Yeah sure, shoot."

"Why... Are you still here? With me. And don't you say it's because you're my friend, I know that's not the correct reason." I told him.

"You want to know the truth?" He asked and I hummed in approval.

"Yeah. The truth and nothing else." I added.

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time, I had a crush on you in 4th year and realised that I loved you in 7th year. Another reason why I left was because of you, I couldn't bare to see you everyday knowing that you only saw me as your friend."

"Fred..." I started but he placed a finger on my lips to silence me.

"And I know you'll never see me as anything else. I know you still see me as a friend. And it hurts, but it's better than never seeing you. After I left you... I realised that it didn't help. They say time heals like a potion but time only had me missing more and more of you." He ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't feel the same about you. I'm not ready for any sort of commitment." I told him, but... A part of me felt guilty. For lying to him.

"I know. I know you're not, love." He told me as he untangled himself from me and smiled at me.

"I'm sorry Freddie." I softly said.

"You've got nothing to apologise for. I knew what was coming. Make sure you go home safe." He told me as he walked off and apparated home.

I watched the rain stop with my head clouded with thoughts. A weight had been taken off my shoulders because of Fred, the burden of secrets that I carried on my shoulders was lighter. I smiled as I watched the clouds part for the moon, letting light seep into the world.

Just like the clouds let in the light, my darkness will make way for lightness. And it may be sooner than I expect.

oOoOo

 **A/N A confession and a backstory. Seems like enough for one chapter.**

 **I'm planning on making the next few chapters less dark but with a bit more drama I suppose. I don't stick to my promises I presume.**

 **I hope you enjoyed the story so far. I'm practically dying to keep writing.**

 **Rate and review! -**

 **\- Leo**

 **Next chapter:**

 _"How did you know?" I asked her._

 _"That you fell in love with a certain someone named Fred Weasley? Please, I've heard you mumble in your sleep." She teased as I grew red._


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N LEO IN DA HOUSE! WHOOP! HEY Y'ALL!**_

 _ **I promise I'm not on drugs..**_

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't have enough brain cells to come up with something extraordinary like Harry Potter_.**

* * *

"Why can't you just be happy?" Phoenix asked me as I began to pick an outfit for the dinner I was attending to.

After Fred had confessed to me, I found myself thinking about him more than usual.

And usual was already bad.

Before it was roughly 15 hours a day or something now it's 24/7.

I found myself reminiscing on memories of us, figuring out what I felt about him. I remembered the first time we hugged, it was after Harry Potter had caught the snitch, 3rd year. I used to play Quidditch in Hogwarts **[1]** , I had found myself fascinated by the sport and after a lot of convincing by my friends I decided to go for the try outs. Landing myself the position of a chaser alongside Angelina and Alicia.

I remember the first time we pulled off a prank on the Slytherin common room together.

The first time we teased Ron about his crush on Victor Krum together.

The first time we went to Hogmeade together.

Our first Christmas together.

The first time we cast our patronuses together.

The time we ran away from Umbridge when we were part of Dumbledore's Army.

The time we joined the Order of Phoenix.

The pain I felt when they went to start off their joke shop without me.

They all made me realise.

That I was in love with Fredrick Gideon Weasley.

And I thought I only had a crush on him...

How did I never realise this before?

"It's because I don't deserve it, Phoen." I shrugged at her as I threw a pair of dark blue jeans on my bed.

"Yes you do! You deserve it more than anyone. You... You can't keep doing this to yourself. Look Aud... I grew up with you, we've been friends since we were 5. I know how you are. I know that you won't listen to yourself. So please. Please. Please. Listen to me. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve all the things you tell yourself you don't. Please Audrey... I can't bare to see you like this. Everyone else says this too!" I sighed.

"I-I... But Phoenix-"

"No. I know what you're going to say. Don't let your past define you. Your mum would want you to be happy, so would your father. So please. Don't beat yourself up over everything that's happened. I know all you see is darkness, but can't you see the spec of light peering in? Can't you see that it's nearly over? Can't you see that you'll be alright again soon? That it'll be over soon?"

"How did you know?" I asked her.

"That you fell in love with a certain someone named Fred Weasley? Please, I've heard you mumble in your sleep." She teased as I grew red.

"I-I hate you!" I lied as I crossed my arm childishly.

"No, you don't. Let me give you a piece of advice. Tell him before it's too late."

"I don't deserve him." I told her, slumping my shoulders and realising a sigh.

"Oh for the love of Dumbledore! Can't you see you're both perfect for one another?! No relationship is perfect, no person is perfect. But that's what makes life the way it is. Don't hide your feelings." She adviced.

"When did you get so wise?" I asked him, a smiled creeping up on my lips.

"I learnt from the best." She winked at me as she left the room.

* * *

I felt nervous as I stood outside the door to the burrow. Home to the Weasleys.

I was wearing a white jumper and dark blue jeans along with black ankle boots. I knocked on the door and then waited, tugging on the sleeve of my military style trench coat to help ease my nerves. I could hear Molly Weasley yelling out orders inside, her voice sounded closer and closer.

"Audrey dear! I'm so glad to have you!" She said, giving me a tight hug.

"Can't... Breathe." I managed to say. Molly has eased her grip on me.

"Sorry dear. How are you?"

"I'm fine Mrs Weasley, thank you for having me over." I told her.

"Didn't I tell you to stop with the formalities?" She asked.

"Ah, sorry Molly."

"That's better. Oh, how rude of me, come in." She told me, ushering me inside.

I took off my green and black coat and hung it on the rack on the wall as Molly walked off to the kitchen.

"Audie!" George cried, rushing over to me.

"Georgie!" I cried back as he tackled me in a hug.

"Audie!"

"Georgie!"

"Freddie!" Fred cried out of nowhere.

"Well, that ruined it." George said, releasing me of his grip.

"Talk about a joy-kill, right Georgie?" I joked.

"Stop stealing Gred from me, Kushieda." Fred pouted

"Someone's jealous." George hummed.

"Shut up." Me and Fred said in unison and then looked at each other. I almost instantly looked down and then towards a wall.

"Audrey!" I heard Ginny's voice call out to me.

"Oh Ginny! It's been so long!" I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. "How have you been?"

"Same old, same old. It's hard playing Quidditch and making time for everyone. But it's worth it, I suppose. I love my job and my family. I'm also slightly glad that Harry has Teddy to keep him company when I'm not around, even though Teddy's mostly at Andromeda's house." She told me. I really felt for Teddy Lupin, never knowing his parents. I never knew my father but I could not imagine how my life would be been if my mother wasn't there for me for the first 12 years.

"Is he here today? Teddy, I mean."

"Yeah, he's suppose to come with Harry in a bit." She informed me and I nodded my head in understanding.

"I haven't seen him for so long." I chuckled.

"So... What's the deal with you and Fred?" She nudged.

"What do you mean?" I calmly asked, hoping my cheeks wouldn't go red.

"Please, I saw you back there, eyeing one another. Come on Audrey, you can tell me" She childishly pestered.

"There is no deal. We're simply friends. That's all." I coldly brushed her off.

"For now, yes." She wriggled her eyebrows at me.

"Please don't do what I think you're going to do." I told her, my voice coming out tired.

"I have no idea what you're on about." She told me, batting her eyelashes. "Hey, Georgie! Come here."

I knew she was going to do something stupid.

"Ginny. Stop. Please, don't do this. We're only friends, I don't like him like that." I lied smoothly. I was a great liar so I looked her right in the eyes as I lied, pleading with her not to do anything.

"Fine... I'll lay off... I'm still rooting for you, Audrey." She winked at me and I smiled at her.

"Don't think I can do anything about that." I shrugged and she laughed.

"Nope." She popped the 'p' and strolled off.

The burrow always had this homely feeling, I felt wanted there whenever I came. I felt safe knowing that the people around me were great people who love me for me and I loved them for being them.

I guess I just stood there for a while because the next thing I remember was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." I called out and walked over to the door.

"Oh, hey Audrey." Harry coolly said.

"Hey Harry. Hey Teddy." I nodded to his blue-haired godson who was clutching his hand.

"Hi, Audrey." The 3 year old responded, earning a smile from me.

"Come in, you two." I hastily added, moving out of the doorway.

"Are you alright, Audrey?" Harry asked me as Teddy ran upto Molly and hugged her, raving on about a story that Harry told him about his father.

"Of course I am." I replied, clearly confused.

"It's just..." He sighed and then carried on. "It's alright. I know how you feel but it's not your fault and you have to realise that."

"Wha-"

"Phoenix told me. She told me that you hadn't let go of your past. She told me that you refused to be happy but let me tell you something. It's our choice how we decide to live, it's our choice whether or not to let our past dictate our future or not. And it's hard, I know. But look at me, even after everything I've been through. I watched hundreds die because of me, damn it. But Audrey that's beyond the point. We all deserve to be happy, even you." I looked at the raven haired boy in front of me, the same boy who lost his parents at the age of one, lost people who he loved, watched some die in front of his eyes. The same boy was telling me that it was alright, that I should move on and be happy. I should be comforting the same boy who was comforting me instead.

"It's not as easy as you make it out to be, I can't just let go..." I whispered.

"I think that our past helps us learn things but if we hold on to it for too long we begin to lose things that were clear to us." He told me.

Wasn't that what Fred had been telling me all this time. That it was alright? It all finally came together, everything that Fred, Phoenix and Harry have been telling me. It all made sense. And it all started on that night Fred Weasley saved me.

"You're right. I'll do it Harry, I'll move on. I'll try my very best, I'll get up if I fall down again." I smiled and hugged him.

"That's the spirit Audrey." He told me as we broke apart.

* * *

"Are you mad at me?" Fred called out from behind me.

"No, why?" I replied.

I watched the sunset from the garden of the burrow, I sat on the outdoor sofa swing and felt an air of serenity wash over me as I looked at the hues of colour that merged into one another softly.

"You've been avoiding me a lot today."

"Oh." Was all I could say to that.

"Why?"

"I don't know... I've decided something though." I told him.

"Oh yeah?" He asked as he took a seat next to me.

"Mhm. I'm gonna move on. It wasn't my fault, I don't know why I've been beating myself up about it." I shrugged even though a sense of sadness was still in the atmosphere.

"That's good."

"And I also have to tell you something." He raised an eyebrow at me as if to say 'go on'. "I lied to you."

"About...?" His voice slightly wavered but I could detect a hint of confusion there.

I let out a sigh. "The other day. You confessed. I lied to you. I-I... I love you Fred Weasley." I confessed, my cheeks burning as I closed my eyes to hide to my embarrassment.

I heard a laugh next to me, it sounded so pure, so genuine. I felt a hand on my chin, movingy head to the side. I leaned in as his lips touched mines for the third time in our lives. But for the first time ever did it feel like something real. The first one was in a moment of passion during the Yule ball, the second was the night he walked me home last week. But... None of them felt quite as real as this one did.

"Harry! You owe me 2 galleons!" I heard Ginny call out.

"And don't forget about me, little brother-in-law!" George called out.

"Guys, you all forgot about me!" I heard Charlie whine. "Ron you owe me 3 galleons. Don't you forget!"

"Looks like I got their blessings." I chuckled as we broke apart, foreheads resting on one anothers.

"Wait till mum finds out." Fred told me.

"Let's just enjoy the moment." I told him as I rolled my eyes, grinning like a fool.

"Your smile's all I need to keep me going in life." Fred told me as he traced my lips with his finger.

"Too cliché man." I laughed.

"Yeah, I thought so too." He grinned as we leaned over for another kiss.

"I'm giving you an offer."

"Yeah? Is it a one-off?"

"For the time being yeah, I don't think I'm going to put it on the table ever again. I think the offer is going perk your interest though."

"I'm listening."

"You be my boyfriend, I'll be your girlfriend." I non-chalently told him.

"Are you asking me out? Never thought you'd be so straight-forward." He quirked his eyebrows at me.

"Hmm... I think I'm beginning to regret telling you this offer." I playfully told me.

"Well you drive a hard bargain, Miss Kushieda. I think I'll accept your offer." He told me as he leaned in another time. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He kissed me.

* * *

 ** _A/N Please don't kill me, I have so much to live for, like erm... V's route on Mystic Messenger is coming out soon and erm... Other stuff that I just can't think of._**

 ** _[1] She played Quidditch, she took Katie's position, roll with it._**

 ** _Hey Nems, Meshie._**

 ** _Hello everyone else. Having a nice summer?_**

 _Next chapter:_

 _"Oh, I think I've met the one!" Cristal cried as she melodramatically fell onto the sofa, an arm over her face. "He's so handsome..."_

 _"Right, is he even real?" I scoffed as I high-fived Phoenix._

 _"Yes, he is! He has blonde hair, gorgeous grey eyes that I could get lost in and his name is so... Ah..." She whispered. "His name is Draco."_

 _I shared a look with Phoenix as we burst into laughter, Cristal stared at the two for us._

 _"I'm not joking..." She told us as we stopped laughing._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N *claps* Hi y'all.**

 **Disclaimer: Because I don't own anything this amazing.**

* * *

"Cris, get your ass here!" I called out to her as our favourite song came on, _Wolf In Sheep's Clothing by Set It Off._

"Yeah, I'm here what's- OH MY GOD! AUDIE! THIS IS OUR SONG!" She yelled at me, tugging on my arm in excitement. We had discovered the song one lazy afternoon the year after we graduated. We instantly fell in love with the song and later on, the band.

"Yeah! Yeah! Come on the chorus is coming on!"

"You go first!"

"Alright!" I screamed. " _So could you tell me how you're sleeping easy,"_

 _"How you're only thinking of yourself."_

 _"Show me how you justify,"_

 _"Telling all your lies like second nature."_

 _"Listen, mark my words one day,"_

 _"You will pay, you will pay."_ We gave each other a knowing look as we said the next words in unison.

 _"Karma's gonna come collect you debt!"_ We sang _,_ clapping once we were done.

"That was epic!" She screamed.

"I know right! Godric, that's a work of art! I tell you, art! True art!" We fangirled as Phoenix walked in.

"What's going on here...?" She said clearly lost.

"Nothing!" We both covered up as Phoenix gave us a quizzical look and walked off.

"Ok then..."

* * *

Cristal had gone to the mall for some reason and Phoenix and I were sitting in the living room on the carpet whilst watching a Muggle movie called 'The Lion King' for the millionth time.

"I still can't believe you're going out with Fred." Phoenix squealed. "I'm so happy for you."

"Look dude, the song 'Hakuna Matata' is about to come on in a minute so please just... Don't. I've heard you say that for the hundredth time and it's only been two weeks." I waved a hand in her direction in attempt to silence her.

"You were raving on and on about him when we were watching 'Finding Dory' yesterday and I wasn't complaining." She complained.

"Well erm... Right, sorry. You can talk after the song." I told her.

* * *

"Oh, I think I've met the one!" Cristal cried as she melodramatically fell onto the sofa, an arm over her face. "He's so handsome..."

"Right, is he even real?" I scoffed as I high-fived Phoenix.

"Yes, he is! He has blonde hair, gorgeous grey eyes that I could get lost in and his name is so... Ah..." She whispered. "His name is Draco."

I shared a look with Phoenix as we burst into laughter, Cristal stared at the two for us.

"I'm not joking..." She told us as we stopped laughing.

"Oh God..."

"Draco Malfoy?" I asked her

"Yeah, how did you know?" She asked me.

"Well you know, after you start going out with someone you have the ability to tell if someone likes someone else." I sarcastically stated.

"Really?"

"You're a right mong Cris. Of course not, you need experience for that sort of thing. Anyways, do you even REMEMBER Draco? He was that prat who called you a mudblood in Hogwarts!" I exasperatedly told her.

"No wonder he looked so familiar... But- But. He's really changed, you know. He's been talking to me after I bumped into him tomorrow and I just felt something... Like a spark. Do you feel that when you're with Fred?" She asked me.

It had been 2 weeks since we were official and I split my time into spending time with Fred, my best friends and work. Of course it wasn't always equal but you know, all's well that ends well.

"Well... Yes I do but Cristal... This is Draco MALFOY we're talking about. He was a death eater!"

"Audrey, you of all people should know not to prejudge."

"Fine, I'll back off. I want to see for myself if he's changed or not though." I told her, shrugging my shoulders and turning my attention towards the TV.

"So, you're perfectly fine with this?" Phoenix asked me in disbelief.

"Well... Yeah, for now."

"I can't believe you. What if she gets hurt?!"

"Calm down _mum_ , I'm sure she'll be fine." I jokingly said as I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, Phoen. You worry way too much. I'm going to meet him up for lunch tomorrow so I can't eat with you tomorrow Audrey. Sorry."

"Ok, now I'm offended. Phoenix when do you have lunch?" I turned to the girl wink mink brown hair, her blue eyes rolled at me as the brown eyed girl gave me an apologetic look.

"... Fine I'll eat lunch with you. Just don't do anything stupid."

"I won't make any promises." I winked as I continued to watch the movie.

* * *

"How do I look?" Cristal asked me as she came into my office the following week, her black hair in a bun with two strands framing her face.

"Cristal. Calm down, you look perfectly fine." I told her as she paced in my office, biting her nails. I put the documents of the mysterious dark wizard into the file. Cristal worked in the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures which is why I had lunch with her every day. Phoenix on the other hand worked at St Mungo's which was further away and tended to eat with her co-workers.

"Fine? Fine?! Oh god... Fine is not good enough!" She yelled at me. She was wearing a ruffled white blouse and a black pencil skirt. Her heels made a tapping noise as she paced up and down.

"You look great, alright. Absolutely gorgeous. Now go!" I told her as I got up and shoved her out of the room. "She's smitten, and I'm not sure if it's in a good way." I murmured to myself as I sat back down in my chair.

* * *

I walked over to the cafeteria and sat on the chair across Phoenix.

"Hey Miss Tired, I got you some grapes and a brownie."

"Thanks, looks like I forgot my lunch again this month." I laughed.

"This is why we wake up early."

"To be grumpy all morning? Yeah, I think I'll pass on that." I jokingly told her.

"So, what happened with Cris?" She leaned in to ask me as I unwrapped the brownie from the wrapper it was in.

"She was acting like a teenage girl who had a major crush on someone. I wonder what it is about Draco that has her like that."

"Right, did you check out any files on him?"

"Mhm, checked this morning in fact. He was excused out of a sentence from Azkaban for some reason. He was in a relationship with a lady named Astoria Greengrass but they broke it off for some reason." I shrugged at her as I took a bite out of the brownie.

"Some reason? Give me details lady!" She practically yelled at me.

"It wasn't my job to find out, I already spent a good fraction of my time trying to stalk this dude." I shrugged at her. "I'm not going to do more of your creepy crap, Phoen. Let Cris live her life. You're honestly worse than her mum sometimes."

"Do not compare me to her mother!" She exclaimed.

"Then don't act like her!" I countered.

"Alright. I'm sorry "

"It's alright." I told her as I put the last green grape in my mouth. "You have the rest. You know I don't like red grapes."

"Well I do." She told me as she threw one into her mouth.

"Me and Cris have a system. We get grapes and brownies for lunch everyday and then I have the green grapes while she has the red ones. It's ironic how you got the same meal for me."

"Yeah... I don't think this is considered a meal." She told me.

"Shut it."

* * *

"He's really nice Audie!" Cristal told me for what seemed like the millionth time after her lunch break. If I had a galleon for every time she said anything about Draco then I'd be almost as rich as Harry Potter.

"Right." I told her.

"You seem distracted." She tilted her head.

"Well no shit, I can't be asked to listen to you rambling on and on about Draco fucking Malfoy!" I told her.

"You haven't seen how he is now! He's really changed." I hummed sarcastically in approval to what the slightly taller girl said to me.

"Sure, let's go with that."

"Just talk to him! He's coming round to pick me up tonight, I don't know where we're going." She casually asked me.

"Yeah, and be tormented with his words. No thanks." I told her and her eyes pleaded with me.

"Please. Just do it for me." She begged and I released a heavy sigh.

"Fine..."

* * *

He came to pick her up at 7 pm sharp, Cristal was getting ready upstairs, Phoenix was taking a nap and I was dressed in a white t-shirt that had said 'REBEL' on it and black denim jeans, because I was going to hang out with George, Lee, Angelina, Alicia and Fred. I looked at the Malfoy who stood in front of me.

"Hey..." He awkwardly said to me.

"Hi Draco." I cautiously told him. "I'm Audrey, Audrey Kushieda."

"Cristal's told me so much about you."

"Likewise."

"How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"I'm doing well."

"Why are you interested in her?" I blurted out.

"... I don't quite know how to phrase it. When I'm with her I feel I don't quite know how to explain it. It feels like I'm flying, like I can run on water. When she's not around I feel lost, she's always on my mind. When she laughs I automatically smile. I... I don't know what this is." He told me.

"Oooo... Wittle Draco has a wittle crush." I teased as his cheeks turned pink.

"Shut up." He snarled at me. "You're dating a Weasley."

"So? You got a problem, Malfoy?"

"No, not really. I'm just trying to indirectly state that your other half is a jokester whilst my crush is not."

"Yeah, she's retarded." I jokingly said.

"No she isn't!"

"Calm down." I lightly said. "She'll be down in a few minutes."

"Alright." He told me as the room turned silent.

"Why did you become a death eater?" I curiously asked the boy with grey eyes.

"I... I had no choice. He was going to kill me Audrey, what would you have done?!"

"I would've died! I would've died rather than betray the rest of us."

"You don't understand, I had to do it! Father was stuck in Azkaban and- and I had to take care of mother. It was the only way." I silently looked on.

"... Then I would've done the same thing I suppose." I truthfully told him. "Looks like you really did change. Otherwise you wouldn't be here with a muggleborn, I suppose."

"Took you long enough to figure it out."

"Well I'm sorry for not trusting someone who called my father a 'filthy blood-traitor'." I narrowed my eyes as I leaned into the doorway, my arms crossed.

"I'm sorry about that but, people change you know." I shook my head at him.

"You're right but you shouldn't be apologising to me. You should apologise to the man who you insulted, even though he can't forgive you. He's gone. He'll never come back. And I never got to know him." I casually told him but my voice was tainted with sadness.

"I... I didn't know. My condolences."

"Yeah? Well there's a lot you don't know."

A silence washed over us and was broken but Cristal coming downstairs in a purple oversized sweater and jeans. On her head was a beanie that said 'I believe in unicorns' written on it. I grabbed my leather biker jacket and pulled the sleeves over my arms as the duo walked out, hand in hand.

"Have fun." I waved over my shoulder as I locked the door, planning to apparate as I walked down to the corner. "Oh, and Draco?"

"Yeah?" He turned to see me.

"I like you better now." I smiled. "Now get the fuck off my property and take Cris on her date."

* * *

"Hi guys." I told the twins as I walked into their joke shop, George's face lit up as he saw me and he ran over to me and crushed me in a hug. Looks like only one twin was here.

"You're going to start hugging people like your mother soon." I jokingly said as his grip loosened on me. I tugged on the sleeve of my black leather jacket.

"Hang on, I need to lock up the shop." He told me and I nodded in approval.

"Alrighty. So, what's going on?"

"With?"

"You and Fred. You guys tend to you know... Stick with each a lot."

"That, is rude. For your information we don't."

"Yeah but... Something's wrong, I can tell." I learnt against the wall as I waited for George to answer, he simply smiled at me.

"It's nothing really."

"I know for a fact that George Weasley wouldn't say that with such a sad look on his face."

"You wanna know? Really?"

"Yup." I told him.

"We got into an argument and now he's mad with me."

"What was the argument about?"

"Leave it Audrey. It's not that big of a deal." I frowned at this.

"It is a big deal! I don't want to see one of my best friends sad."

"He was just being a git. Leave it." He told me and something in his voice told me to leave me to leave me alone.

"Georgie..." I said softly.

"You really wanna know? Fine. The argument was about you." He told me as I fell silent. "I told him that he spent too much time with you and I felt like he was just pushing me out of his life slowly, we weren't like we were before. He just yelled back saying I was too clingy and that I should quit acting like I was the boss of him. Needless to say we fought about a week ago. I love you Audie, that's why I didn't want to tell you. Promise me you won't get involved though, we'll get over it in a few days on our own."

"I-I didn't know... I'm sorry." I said as I pulled him into a hug, he tensed up before relaxing and wrapping his arms around me. "Love you too. Like a big brother or something not... I'm not in love with you. And promise." I clarified.

"Awwn, I was planning on running away with you." He jokingly said.

"Tempting, bring it up before my wedding, if I ever have one." I playfully replied as we walked down the road.

* * *

We went to the leaky cauldron, I saw the rest of the four sitting at a corner table. I let George go first and as soon as Angelina saw him she waved and moved over to make space for him next to her. I tucked in a loose lock of blonde hair that fell in front of my face as I made my way through to the table. My hair was pulled up in a ponytail that I tied up with a black ribbon.

"Hey guys." I told them as I sat down next to Fred.

"Hey Audrey, George." Lee nodded towards us, stuck between Fred and Alicia.

"What's up with you all?" George asked, I could see him avoid eye contact with Fred as he slung an arm around Angelina. I bit my lip as I edged towards my seat. For some reason I'd rather be anywhere else but here. Fred held my hand under the table and I felt alright suddenly. I rested my head into his shoulder as he bought an arm around my shoulder.

"Well there's a Quidditch match next week, I'm going to watch Angie play there." Alicia informed us.

"I've got a shit ton of work to do and Phoenix wants me to stalk Draco Malfoy." I told them, sighing.

"Why Malfoy?" George asked, tensing up because of the fight they'd gotten into with the blonde in 7th year.

"Him and Cris are interested in one another. Yes, interested interested. He's changed in my opinion but Phoenix ain't having it."

"Changed? Malfoy? Please, I'm going to have to see it to believe it!" Angelina scoffed.

"That's exactly what I said. But when you think about it why would he go on dates with a Muggle born for nearly a month."

"A month?! Gosh, I need to talk to Cris more." Lee stated.

"Guys don't worry, if he tries anything funny I'll hex him."

"But we're hilarious-"

"And you've only hexed us about twice." George finished and I don't think either of them realised what they had done.

"Actually I've hexed you seventeen times. Don't give me a reason to hex you more than that." I narrowed my eyes at the duo.

"You've been counting?" George asked.

"Mhm." I hummed in approval.

* * *

"I'm going to go home now, I've got work tomorrow and all." I said.

"But you've only been here for an hour!" Lee protested.

"Yeah... I've been here for two actually. It's eleven pm. I should really get going." I downed my cup of butter beer and grabbing my leather biker jacket that I had taken off after a while.

"I'll walk you home." Fred offered but I shook my head.

"It's alright, I'm just going to apparate there. I'm not going to die." Apparently I shouldn't have added that last but.

"Still, I'm coming with."

"Argh, fine. You better win that match Angie!" I told her as she winked at me.

"Got it." She confidently told me.

* * *

The house I shared with two of my best friends didn't really stick out in the Muggle neighbourhood. The garden lights were blue and lit up the straight path to the door and a path that branches off to the garage. We didn't have a car because we didn't need one, we just used the garage for storage. The blue door had a small window on the top of it and two decorative glass pieces parallel to one another on it. The dim moonlight reflected on the windows and the gate rattled because of the window. We lived in quite a rich neighbourhood which was clearly reflected.

"I would've been perfectly fine on my own!" I told him for the millionth time since we started the five minute walk.

"Still, it gives me peace of mind." He told me nonchalantly as he picked at his nails.

I let out a sigh. "Alright then."

"I love you." He randomly said.

"I know. I love you too." I rolled my eyes as he learnt in to kiss me. "At least let me open the gate." I teased

"No can do." He said leaning in to kiss me again.

"Quit it. What if Phoenix opens the door?"

"I don't care." He kissed me again and when I pushed him afterwards.

"Well I do, I live with her. Goodnight Freddie." I told him as I stepped inside and locked the gate.

"Goodnight love." He told me, quickly pecking my lips. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"I love you." He repeated.

"I love you too." I replied as I walked off towards the front door, the cobblestone path making a tapping noise as it came in contact with my black boots, by the time I turned back to wave at him he was already gone, replaced with the sound of wind.

* * *

 _Next chapter:_

 _"Guys, he asked me out!" She squealed at us. Me and Phoenix shared a look, we already knew this. But we couldn't just reveal that we'd been stalking her. "And I said yes!" Ok, maybe we could._

 _ **Rate and Review! -Leo**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer: What are rights? I don't think I have any... To this franchise or anything else... *Sigh*_**

oOoOo

"Stalking? You've stooped as low as stalking?!" I exclaimed as Phoenix covered my mouth with her hand.

"Not so loud!" She hissed at me.

"Sorry... But you've spoken to him! He came to our house for dinner last week... I don't see the problem. I'm all for it, as long as it makes Cris happy." I told her, bringing my ponytail over my left shoulder.

"He's changed but what if he... Argh... What if he pulls a Rudolf on her!?" That's the only comparison she could make?

"He would never. He could never do what Rudolf did." I was surprised at how deadly my voice sounded.

"Erm... Aud? You alright?" She asked and I nodded at her

"Yeah, I'm good." I bit the side of my lower lip. "I can't help you, I got work to do. We've tracked down the dark wizards who've been killing muggles and Muggleborns. Sometimes half-bloods. I've already spent enough time slacking off because of the twins birthday 3 weeks ago. I'm going there on my own on May the 12th. I got a promotion, so time to prove my worth." I grinned. "I just need to figure out who the main mastermind is. Can't be so hard, they left evidence all over the place. They're not very sly but they seem quite deadly."

"Please."

"Fine..." I groaned as I looked up at the sky, we went to the park so we could sit on some swings. "Wait... You wanna go now?!" I asked, wide eyed.

"Yes! Now! They're on a date. Their 7th date to be exact!"

"Creepy, much? Let's go?"

"Yes! Let's go!" She tugged on the sleeve of my plain white long sleeve.

"Tonight will end in tragedy..." I murmured to myself as we apparated near the woods close to the park.

oOoOo

I don't know how Phoenix knew where they were going but she did and something told me that she'd done this before.

"Use the charm." She told me.

"Charm?"

"The one that McGonagall taught you, the one that let's you changed your appearance." She quietly hissed.

"Alright." I hissed at her as we ducked to somewhere no one could see us. I changed her hair colour to a quiet shade of dark purple and mines to a dark red. I pondered about the eye colour for a moment and changed hers to green whilst mines to a purple shade.

"Thank you."

It took me a moment to register that we were in a Muggle mall. Why would Draco take her here? Apparently Phoenix had the same thought because she addressed it, resulting in a shrug from me.

"Your guess is as good as mines. Anyways how are going to find her in such a big crowd?!" I asked as we walked through the crowd, barely recognisable. I could hear cacophonous noises around me and I nearly hissed because of it. I forgot how loud they were despite coming here to shop sometimes.

"Aha! I could find her with a charm!" She exclaimed, brimming with ecstasy over the idea.

"Go for it." I encouraged as she discreetly recited the incantation quietly, I couldn't even hear it over the tumultuous surrondings.

"In there!" She exclaimed, pulling my hand and leading me inside a cafe.

"Didn't they meet in a café?" I recall and Phoenix cursed under her breath before nodding. I could see the two talking over some coffee. Every so often the two would lean in subconsciously and then lean back.

"Maybe he's planning something big?"

"Probably going to ask her out." I shrugged, screaming from excitement on the inside. Phoenix shoot me a dirty look.

"What!?"

"Well you know, taking a girl to someplace memorable and then asking her out. Seems romantic." I nonchalantly told her as I sat down at a table, looking at a menu.

"I'm gonna have a coconut latté." I told her as I took off my half sleeve denim jacket and walked off to the counter, leaving Phoenix behind as she angrily glared at Draco who was oblivious to it.

"We've been here for so long Phoenix! Can't we go home now?" I complained for the dozenth time, my pleading falling on deaf ears.

"No, we absolutely can not." She told me.

"I'll just leave without you then." I shrugged, getting up only to be pulled down by an impatient blue eyed brunette.

"No. You're not going. We've only been here for... 15 minutes." She exasperatedly said.

"I promised George I'd help him with the inventory." I grimaced as I attempted to shake the grip the taller girl had on me. I was the shortest out the trio but I couldn't care less in all honesty. Height has nothing to do with a person, their skills and their strength. I hated people who acted like they could get anything out of their looks or something like that. It was practically sickening. A person can't control how they look, they can't control their height and they certainly can't control the way they're being treated because of it. Those people who were tall and acted like they were superior to everyone else were probably some of the most deluded people ever.

"Well if George has a problem he can talk to me about it." She told me and I shot her a dirty look before settling into my seat. I heaved a sigh and crossed my arms childishly before drinking some if my latté. I bit into some chocolate cake I ordered for myself and recalled the addiction our 5th year DADA teacher had with chocolate. A wave of sadness washed over me and made my chest feel heavy.

"Maybe we should leave them alone." I suggested only for my idea to be shot down by a glare.

I could hear laughs from the table they were sitting on and looked around to see Draco giving Cristal a rose. Phoenix released an audible sigh of annoyance and I decided to stay quiet.

"This is way too awkward we've been sitting here for half a bloody hour and the charm wears off soon. We should just go!" I exclaimed, leaning forward and taking a bite out of my chocolate cake.

"Just... 10 more minutes. I feel like something is going to happen." I huffed but didn't say anything else. Unlike me and Cristal who thought divination was clear bullshit, Phoenix took the class and managed to get an O in it. I preferred arithmancy to divination by a mile, despite hating numbers and the likes. I began to quietly hum to myself as the ten minutes passed.

"Yes! Yes, I'll be your girlfriend!" I could hear Cristal yell out, I saw Phoenix tense up from the corner of my eye. The Muggles around began clapping and I joined in, one of them whistled whilst Phoenix pouted in her seat.

"Come on Phoen. It could be a lot worse." I told her but she glared at me.

"Shut your stupid mouth."

"Let's go before someone thinks you have a crush on either of them." I joked as I put on my jacket and pulled Phoenix out of the room.

"That was not funny." She hissed, I rolled my eyes as I apparated us home.

oOoOo

She immediately sat down on a sofa, rubbing the side of her head. She would let out profanities every so often before going upstairs saying something like 'gonna take a nap'.

I shrugged and apparated to the twins joke shop.

"Audrey Aoi Jayna Kushieda! You were meant to be here half an hour ago!" George complained and I grimaced.

"It's been a tough day Georgie." I told the younger twin and he raised an eyebrow at me. Knowing what he meant I elaborated.

"Phoenix made me stalk Malfoy and Seabrooke on their date. As if searching through his files wasn't creepy enough. Anyways, he asked her out." I nonchalantly told him and his eyes widened.

"Me and little Miss Cristal Seabrooke are gonna have to have a chat one day, and I think that day is in the near future." he told me, winking as if he planned something.

"Don't do anything stupid." I warned.

"No promises Audie." he playfully told me as we began sorting out everything.

"You guys on good terms now?" I asked about the incident he informed me about last week and he nodded at me.

"Yup, twin bond still going strong."

"I'm overloaded with work, I've had no time to see him." I sadly told George.

"You have time now." he pointed out.

"I promised I'd help you, I always stick with my promises plus, I don't even know where he is." I countered.

"True. He should be back in a bit. Can you pass me the pen next to you?" he asked and I handed it to him. "Thanks."

" 'Welcome."

"So what you been busy with?" he wriggled his eyebrows.

"Work. I'm close to finding out who the dark wizard is. I'm also going to capture them by myself. Well actually it's more like stalling before the ministry come. Seems simple enough. They're super naive, left a cheap ton of evidence around. Tomorrow I'm going to go to 6 different sites to gather evidence." I casually explained.

"6!? Godric, what if you don't go to them all during work hours?"

"Well naturally I'd stay back..." George's eyes widened.

"So you've been overworking yourself, you workaholic?" He stated even though it sounded more like a question.

"It's my choice." I reminded.

"Still Audie, you should get your rest, I can see bags under you eyes." His voice filled with concern as he peered into my face.

"I... I'm alright." I told him, uncomfortable with the space between us. He leant back and sighed.

"Reminds me of 6th year." he gave a smile, one that showed nostalgia.

"Which memory?" I asked him.

"Well... It was winter, all of us were sitting in front of the fire in the common room, telling stories to one another. I remember saying the same thing to you and receiving the same reply."

"I remember now! We went to the yule ball 3 days later..." I recalled and George nodded.

"Yup, you and your Prince Charming danced through the night." George teased and I punched his arm.

"Merlin's beard, where's the mute button on this thing." I teased back.

"Sorry Audie, looks like you're stuck with my voice." George, almost apologetically, responded.

"Hey! Stop flirting with my girl, Gred!" I heard Fred's voice from behind and I jumped up to hug him.

"Hey love, I take it you missed me." He playfully said and I pouted.

"You didn't miss me?"

"Not particularly..."

"Well looks like I'm going home then, bye Georgie." I waved as I got up.

"Wait! I missed you, a bunch, I swear. I've missed you so... Please, stay." he pleaded.

"Well lucky for you, I got time to spare."

"That's great because it looks like you're stressed."

"You don't say..." I sarcastically retorted.

"Ah, but I do say! Doctor's order, you gotta hang with me and little Georgie for a bit." He flashed me a smile and I couldn't say no. His grin widened as if he knew what my answer would be. "Knew you'd say yes, love." He kissed me, much to the dismay of his twin.

"So, Audie. Any plans for your birthday?" George flashed me a smile after he recovered.

"My birthday?"

"It's next week, don't tell me you forgot!" He said in mock shock and I nodded.

"Well... I've been busy I guess..." I nervously chuckled as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"That's not an excuse! We're carrying on the tradition!" Fred excitedly raved.

"Tradition? Look, I don't plan on getting shit-faced." I rolled my eyes.

"After your drinking issue honey, I don't think so."

"Well what tradition are you on about? The one we started in 6th year?" I curiously asked, tilting my head slightly in confusion.

"Yup! Make sure you get Phoenix and Cristal to come, it's gonna be like the good ol' days. The five of us doing random crap!"

"I dunno... I don't think I can do it, too much work to do."

"It's your birthday Audie! You gotta relax a bit." George piped up and I felt like punching him. He did have a point though...

"Argh! Alright!" I surrendered, raising my arms up in defeat. "I give up."

"That's the spirit." Fred winked.

"I'm beginning to regret this. Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't make me promise something I can't do love." I rolled me eyes at him as he leant in to kiss me, I could hear George fake gag across from where we were sitting but I couldn't care less

oOoOo

I arrived back home after an hour and a half, singingqueen of hearts by We The Kingsto myself. I loved Muggle music, though I wouldn't admit it to anyone at the ministry. I cheerfully got my keys and opened the door.

I could hear the living room stereo playing some song I didn't recognise. I peered in to see Cristal dancing around the room, bewildered, I turned away and went to check on Phoenix who, for some reason, wasn't in her room.

"Cris? Where's Phoen?" I walked down the red carpeted stairs and yelled over the music.

"She's in the kitchen." I could hear her say over the music. "I need to tell you something, both of you."

"Oi, Phoenix? Cuckoo girl wants to talk to us." I told her and she nodded, placing the wand she was using to enchant the sink and walking alongside me to the living room.

"What is it, Cris?" She sounded tired for some reason and I didn't think anything out it.

"Guys, he asked me out!" She squealed at us. Me and Phoenix shared a look, we already knew this. But we couldn't just reveal that we'd been stalking her. "And I said yes!" Ok, maybe we could.

"Sweetie, sit your ass down." Phoenix commanded in a deadly calm voice.

"Huh, why?"

"You're screwed Cris. Don't worry I'll attend your funeral and bring golden buttercup flowers." I smiled before almost leaving the room. Long story short; I got stopped.

"Hey, lemme go!" I complained, successfully attempting to get out of Phoenix's grip.

"You're staying here. Intervention time."

"She's happy, leave her be. Let her be happy. I'm all for it, go Cris!" I cheered only to be silenced by the mum. "Sorry, mum." I sarcastically retorted, pouting as I resided into a seat.

"Thank you." She told me, turning her attention to Cristal. "Cris, you barely know him. It's not... He was a death eater for the love of God."

"I think the keyword iswas."I pointed out. "Look Phoenix, we know you mean well but we'll be OK. You worry too much."

"I just don't want you both to get hurt."

"We won't."

"Don't make promises you can't keep Audrey."

oOoOo

 _ **Next chapter :**_

 _"It's nearly Cristal's birthday?" The statement sounded more like a question and I nodded._

 _"Unfortunately. Why does her birthday have to be so close to mines?" I sighed and the blonde haired boy pressed his lips before asking me the next question._

 _"Can you help me arrange a surprise party for her?" My lips widened into a grin._

 _"Please, I was born for this stuff!" I scoffed, giving him a thumbs up. "I'll help ya."_

 _ **Rate and review.**_

 _ **-Leo**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I owned the HP franchise once... But then I woke up.**

_

"Happy birthday to you!" Cristal sang as she practically broke into my room and began to jump on the other side of the double bed I was sleeping on, somehow managing to avoid hitting her head on the roof.

"You wouldn't lose too many braincells if you hit your head, ya know." I matter-of-factly stated only to receive a snort in response.

"Like I had any in the first place! Now get up my other half!" She yelled, tugging on my arm as she fell onto her knees.

"Fine! I'm up, see!" I raised my arms as I got out if bed and put my slippers on, I rubbed my eyes and removed the hairband that tied my hair up the previous day.

"Yaay!" She clapped, shoving me out of the door. I sighed at her antics and found myself being led to the kitchen.

"What the fuck did you make?" I asked, staring at the unknown item in front of me. I prodded at it and it was stiff, I glared at her.

"It's a brownie! Are you proud of me?!" I gave her a look of bewilderment before hitting my head on the table.

"Do you know what that looks like? It looks like someone who has serious bladder issues just shat on my plate!" I complained. "And why the hell would I eat a brownie for breakfast?! Actually scratch that, it looks like someone forced a dog to take a shit on a plate because they couldn't afford grass!"

"Well technically everyone can afford grass..."

"Shut your Ravenclaw mouth up!" I retorted.

"What in the name of Godric is going on here?" Phoenix demanded as she came into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"She's trying to feed me horse shit!"

"A moment ago it was dog shit, really." Cristal digressed, earning a eye roll from me.

"Oh, that makes it so much better(!)" I sarcastically replied.

"I'll make you guys pancakes, alright?" Phoenix plainly stated, flicking her wand.

"Thank you." I said, glaring at the browned eyed girl next to me who apologetically shrugged. "I don't know if you were already this dumb or being smitten did this. But I have a feeling that I don't care nonetheless."

"I was born braindead." Cristal winked at me.

"Yes. I know, we were friends since 4, ya mong. You would rave on about unicorns in nursery!" I smiled nostalgically as I rolled my eyes.

_

My birthday was actually really fun. We went over to the twins house and we ended up walking around Diagon alley pranking random civilians, we had cake afterwards and played a bunch of random games amongst ourselves. Me and Fred did get teased a lot, especially after Lee walked in on us making out in the kitchen. Guilty!

But it was memories like these that make our lives what they are today, they make our lives so much better than it could've been without them. When I felt down I would attempt to bring my mind to those, albeit sometimes to no avail.

It was May 1st and I was running all over the place at work, and when I finally came home I was beat. I fell onto the sofa and flicked my wand to summon a glass of water. Cristal walked in humming a tone and I raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you have work?"

"It's my day off Audie." She told me, her face covered in confusion. I simply nodded at her.

"Alright."

A few minutes later I received a note from an owl that said 'can you meet me at the three broomsticks? -Draco'. The handwriting was neat yet rushed, which seemed like him. I reluctantly got off the sofa and threw on my blazer over the blouse and skirt I was wearing.

"What's up?" I asked Draco and I sat down at the table he was already sitting at.

"It's nearly Cristal's birthday?" The statement sounded more like a question and I nodded.

"Unfortunately. Why does her birthday have to be so close to mines?" I sighed and the blonde haired boy pressed his lips before asking me the next question.

"Can you help me arrange a surprise party for her?" My lips widened into a grin.

"Please, I was born for this stuff!" I scoffed, giving him a thumbs up. "I'll help ya."

"Thank you." He curtly said and I used half my willpower attempting not to laugh; it... Wasn't enough. "What's funny?!"

"Sorry, just never thought... Oh Lordy, looks like Draco Malfoy does have manners after all." I doubled over in laughter and I felt something on my head. "Oww, what the fuck jackass- Oh, it's you Fred." I relaxed at his presence and smiled at his as he dropped next to me and wrapped an arm around me. My heart hammered but I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"What're you talking about?" Fred asked.

"It's Cri-"

"Nothing." Draco silenced me and I shoot him a questioning look only for my question to be answered by a shake of the head. I rolled my shoulders and leaned towards Fred.

"I missed you." I softly said.

"I know."

"Could've said you missed me too, jackass." I joked.

"Umbridge would not like me to tell lies." He playfully joked back and I pushed his hand off and pouted, looking away. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Draco rush off murmuring something about a 'third wheel'.

"Had to mention that bitch, didn't you." I huffed, recalling our 7th year where the twins ditched us.

"I'm sorry love, I really did miss you."

"I believe you." I said as I leaned in to kiss him.

"You're going to kill my heart at this rate."

"What if you kill mines first?"

"Maybe we'll kill each other? At least we'll get to die together."

"Now I'm worried that you're some sort of crazy lunatic."

"I assure you that I could potentially be one."

"Well that's not good for me..."

"No, but what can we do? This lion is so blatantly smitten with me."

"I didn't know you knew words like that."

"I try for you sweetheart."

"I'm flattered, really." He leaned in to kiss me and I closed my eyes anticipating it, my heart hammering against my chest so loud I thought he could hear it.

 _Crunch._

We pulled away from one another like we had to go into battle now only to see George eating crisps in front of us, wriggling his eyebrows at us.

"First I walk in on the two of you making out and now this, honestly. Get a room!" He teased and I grabbed one of the crisps and threw it at him.

"Karma, bitch."

"Don't call me a bitch."

"I try to tell the truth as often as possible, Georgie." I stuck my tongue out at him reaching over for another crisp but he pulled the packet away from me. "Meanie."

"Even saints get backlashed."

"You're still terrible."

"And everyone knows I look more handsome than you." Fred joked.

"Awwn... Sweetheart you keep telling yourself that."

"See even she- Wait... What?!"

"Ouch, that had to have hurt." George winced, getting up and waving. "I'll leave you and my future sister-in-law on your own." He winked and I blushed redder than the scarlet blouse I was wearing.

"W-W-what...?"

"You're adorable love, you know that?" Fred pinching my cheeks as I glared at him.

"Thaf harfs Fwed!" I complained.

"Haha. I want to lock you up so that no one else can see you apart from me." He put his hands on my cheeks and put his forehead on top of mines.

"That's illegal."

"What the ministry doesn't know can't harm them." He kissed me and I burst out laughing.

"I won't go down without a fight though." I whispered as he pulled away.

"Yeah? Well are you prepared for this?" I was confused for a moment before he gave me a tickle attack which resulted in me attempting to run away from him to no avail because, unfortunately, I was sitting next to the window.

"Stop! Stop! I'm sorry... Ahh! Stop Freddie!" I laughed, pushing him away.

_

"Phoenix~! I need to ask you something!" I sang as I walked into her room at 1am. She turned over, her wand in front of her faces and her blue eyes squinting at me.

"What the fuck?! It's 1am Audrey, GO TO BED!" She yelled and I nearly cowered in terror. But! Today was not the day for that!

"Right, but we're gonna plan a surprise party for Cristal and I need to ask you to help." She groggy nodded and waved a hand in my direction.

"Can you leave me alone now?"

"Right." I said leaving before walking in again. "Have you ever wondered who named oran-"

"AUDREY, GO TO BED!"

"Right, sorry, sorry." I raised my arms in defeat before walking over to room and falling face first onto my bed, instantly falling asleep.

_

"What's her favourite colour?"

"Purple."

"Animal?"

"Turkey."

"Food?"

"She likes brownies."

"Person?"

"Me, of course." I rolled my eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Fruit?"

"THERE'S NO POINT TO THIS ANYMORE!" I yelled, running a hand through my bed hair. Draco wanted to meet me before I went to work much to my dismay, I agreed to meet him 1 hour before it started and was now sleep deprived.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Happens to the best of us. You're forgiven." I shrugged. "Go for a animal theme perhaps, we've talked about animals since we were kids."

He nodded at me and tapped his fingers on the table. "Nope. Can't see it."

"A... Erm... A crystal theme?"

"Oh! That's a great idea!" He exclaimed, clasping his hands together.

"I asked Phoen to help, she said OK. By the way why didn't you want Fred to help us...?"

"Too many people make it suspicious, keep it between the three of us." He said, and I nodded.

"Yes, sir!"

"Don't do that. Please."

"Right, sorry."

"Act normal, don't make it suspicious, I'll send you the location later."

"Nice chat."

_

"That's a bit off..." I pointed towards the door that had practically come off its hinges. "What is this place anyways?"

"I found it in my 5th year, I found it interesting and father bought it for me."

"Well at least it'll come in handy now." Phoenix attempted to play with the hinge of the door but the upper hinge came off. "Oops. Repairo." She chanted as the door was returned to what I hoped was it's former glory.

"Great job with the door, the rest of this shack looks... Dodgy."

"Hey, Draco. Don't tell me you got her this as a gift."

"That's one of them, yes."

"God. All I got from Fred was a locket." I rolled my eyes as I placed a hand on my neck, I actually adored the locket. It had our names engraved onto it and I loved it a lot.

"She's complaining now but she goes to sleep clenching that."

"Sh-shut up Phoenix!"

"We can fix this up today and paint it. Tomorrow we can start decorating."

"I take it we're going to repair it with magic, paint it the Muggle way and decorate it the Muggle way too."

"Knew you weren't that dense." Draco bitterly smiled, waving a wand to clean the, now white, windows.

_

"This place still looks plain."

"It looks nice and simple though at the sane time. Once we put up some decorations this should look super homey." Phoenix stated.

"Well, that is true." I played with my bottom lip as I thought.

"We should wrap this up, Draco left 10 minutes ago, I don't know why we're still here."

"Sorry Phoen." She shook her head at me.

"What has my life come to..." She murmured as she apparated home.

I took one more look at the scene before closing my eyes and apparating home.

_

"Stop singing Audrey! You've been at it for a while now." Cristal grouchy complained at breakfast. It was two days before her birthday and I was acting as usual as I could. I was currently singing a Muggle song that had been stuck in my head which, for some reason, got on Cristal's nerves.

"Oi, shut it. It's me and Fred's 3 month anniversary. Not a big deal, he probably forget. I don't know why I remembered. Anyways we're gonna be late."

"You're just in looove Audie!" She sighed.

"You're not an expert just because you started dating someone." I stated, pulling my robes on and using the floo to get to work.

"I could become one." She declared, coming out after me.

"You're not one now though sweetie."

"Such a buzzkill, jeez." She playfully nudged me and then pat me head, earning herself a glare from the one and only me.

"Shut it."

"See you at Lunch." Cristal chuckled at me, waving, as she headed off to her department and I barely had time to respond.

"Yeah, see you." I told her, waving shortly.

_

 _Next Chapter:_

 _"Seriously, I can't believe you Audrey, how could you just do that to me?! I thought we were best friends..."_

 _"We are, Cristal, we are! But I don't understand why you're being so deluded and not understanding what's going on right now!"_

 _"Maybe I don't want to understand!" She yelled at me, tears caught in her eyes._

 ** _rate and review -Leo_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N I have a flight back to England today T_T so I decided to update because my life is so shit._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't have rights. Period._**

oOoOo

"Phoenix says she can't come today. Extra shift at St Mungos." I casually told Draco as I began to hang up fake crystals in the room.

"That's alright. We're practically done anyways. Only a few more decorations left to do."

"Can't believe it's her birthday in 2 days, time flies. All I have to do is get her a gift." I sighed.

"I already got her one."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you that, you can find out at the party."

"Awwn. You can't even tell me? Sad."

"You make it sound like it's your own gift."

"No I don't."

"Let's go with that."

"I don't want to hear your sassiness. I've got Phoen for that."

We were done with the decorations in less than an hour, the small hall had a purple carpet and an enchanted wallpaper. The wall would twinkle as if it were a gem every so often. The crystals were also enchanted and emmited light as if they were stars in the night sky. We put up a banner that would say 'Happy Birthday Cristal' once she blew out her candles. I was quite proud of what the results were and leaned against the black and white banquet table, throwing a can of soda at Draco who successfully caught it.

"You know Malfoy, I like you. Platonically, of course!"

"Yeah, I know, you got the weasel after all." He winked at me. "I like you too, like an older sister."

"And you're like my younger brother." I reached up to pat his head but he pulled his head away from me.

"Please don't touch my hair."

"Alright."

"Are you serious about him?" Draco spoke up after a few minutes of us each quietly sipping on a can on soda.

"About Fred? Yeah, 'course I am."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes, I love him." I was confused at why Draco was asking me these questions but I confidently answered them.

"Would you ever marry him?"

"What?" I answered after a minute of thinking what he about what he had said.

"Would you marry Fred Weasley?"

"And become the second Audrey Weasley of the family? I don't know, maybe I should change my name. What do you think?" I joked.

"Would you marry him?" He ignored what I had said.

"Fred? God... I... I don't know..." I got up and paced the hall. "We haven't been together all that long..."

"But you've known one another since hogwarts." He debated.

"Why are you asking me this?! You're awfully nosy today..."

"I plan on proposing to Cris near the end of may. After you come back from your mission, of course."

"I-I... You've only been together for roughly a month, are you sure?!"

"I.. There's a spark there, I can't quite explain it but-"

"But when you're with him your heart beats fast and you know you would do anything to protect him. When you're with him you feel complete, like everything you've been through makes it worth it to be with him."

"Well Cristal isn't a guy, but yes." He smiled at me. "I know you're talking about Fred by the way. I also think you have your answer."

"I... want to spend the rest of my life with him, no matter what." I told him, looking up to meet his grey eyes.

"There you go."

"What about you? Are you sure you're gonna treat her right?"

"Hell, I'm worried about it myself. I can't afford to lose her. And I know I sound stupid, heck we haven't even been together all that year but I just can't... I can't bare even the thought of it." He rambled.

"Welcome to being in love, there's hundreds more of us in the world."

"I love-"

"We walked in right before the confession Freddie. Maybe we should've waited." Cristal's voice was filled with patronising venom as she burst open the door. "I knew something was up when Audrey kept coming home at 1am and all. Whenever I asked Phoenix she just said you were hanging out with Draco. Are you gonna explain, or is it something you can't?!"

"Cris-"

"The latter. It's something we can't explain." I calmly replied, earning a doubtful look from Fred and a glare from Cristal.

"Seriously, I can't believe you Audrey, how could you just do that to me?! I thought we were best friends..."

"We are, Cristal, we are! But I don't understand why you're being so deluded and not understanding what's going on right now!" I waved my hand around at the scenery but my actions were blatantly being ignored.

"Maybe I don't want to understand!" She yelled at me, tears caught in her eyes.

"Well that's your own issue. You're really getting on my nerves right now! Stop being such an idiot and just look around you for a moment-"

"You went too far this time, Audrey." I heard Fred's voice say right next to me.

"Me?! I went too far?! Oh right, because I'malwaysthe bad guy. I'm sick of it all, I'm sick of giving my all to people who are always labelling me as something that I'm not. I would have risked my life, and you made me the bad guy..." I weakly finished, grabbing my bag.[1]

"Audr-" Fred began.

"Just leave it, I'm done. I can't do this Fred, I can't be with you if you don't trust me."

"I do trust you."

"Well it doesn't look like it." I told him, a tear streaming down my face that I hastily wiped away.Don't cry, don't show them you're weak. "And for the record, this was suppose to be surprise birthday party for you Cristal." I stormed out of the hut, the sound of crickets echoing outside filled my ears and I took a deep breath before putting the hood of my hoodie up and walking off, my hands in my pockets.

oOoOo

Cristal's POV

When I came home, Audrey wasn't there. I felt like absolute crap for the misconception that occured a few minutes ago which also resulted in me and Draco getting into an argument. He only said that he'd forgive me if I was back on good terms with Audrey again. Of course, that wasn't the only reason I wanted to make amends with her.

Phoenix practically glared me to death when she saw me, demanding where Audrey was which left me shocked. I thought she knew.

"Of course I don't know! Why on earth do you think I'm asking you then, you bloofy idiot?!" She practically screeched and I had to cover my ears to save my ear drums.

"Not so loud, people are trying to sleep!" I hushed.

"My best friend, who was raised up with me and is practically an older sister to me, is missing! To hell with them if they're going to be inconsiderate assholes about it." This is also why I wanted to soundproof the walls.

"She'll be home soon, you worrywaytoo much."

"What. Did. You. Do?!" She demanded, seeping with cold fury. I gulped and I scratched the back of my neck.

"I... Erm... Brownies!"

"Cristal Scarlet Seabrooke I demand you tell me what you did." I frowned at the use of my middle name which I practically forgot existed.

"We...Erm... Got into a _tiny_ argument."

"I'm not gonna ask again, what happe- Wait... What? What happened?!"

"She... Draco and her were planning a surprise party for me and-"

"I know about the party, I was helping out. Lemme guess you pulled a cliché and said that they were cheating on you and Fred."

"Yeah... Audrey got super pissed and broke up with Fred."

"Then and there?"

"Yeah, I shipped it too..." I murmured the last bit to myself.

"You what?!"

"Huh?! Nothing! Anyways, Draco just shook his head and said that I should speak to Audrey and then him."

"Malfoy never struck me as that kind of guy... How is he holding up?"

"Draco?! Well no-"

"No, not Draco, Fred."

"Fred?! He looked heartbroken, she just left him and ran off, it's becoming a habit of hers really, running away from her problems. Fred just stood there for a moment and annouced he was going home. Hopefully George will cheer him up." I told her as Phoenix picked up her trench coat and threw it on over her red and gold oversized shirt. She shook her head at me and put on her black ankle boots. "Where are you going this late at night."

"It's none of your concern but because I'm so nice I'll tell you. I'm going to go find Audrey, genius."

"This late?!"

"I'm not going to leave her by herself!"

"You don't even know where she is!"

"I got a feeling I do."

"Where?"

"Don't you mind." She coldly shrugged me off as she slammed the front door shut leaving me alone at the house with my thoughts.

oOoOo

Audrey's POV

I could hear the sound of footsteps behind me and I could immediately recognise it as Phoenix's footsteps, I released a sigh as she stood next to me.

"You never change, you've been coming here since you were 6."

"What can I say, it was love at first sight. Plus it was roughly a five minute walk from your family mansion." I told her, pointing towards the mansion that you could see from where we were standing. "I feel like I'm on top of the world when I'm up here, I feel like all my troubles just wash away. And for a moment, only a moment, I feel like my mum is going to call us to eat again. I feel like your dad is going to apparate here and pick the two of us up and bring us home. Like we were kids again, you know."

Phoenix leaned over the railing and took a deep breath as she looked up at the stars, the lights of our town lit up in front of us illuminating the dark night. The moon peacefully mused as it watched over us. The wind whipping in front of our faces left me releasing a burst of laughter and I was soon joined by Phoenix.

"You are right, it does feel really peaceful but Audie... You can't escape reality forever." She softly told me and I looked down in sadness.

"I know that Phoenix, I bloody know... But reality hurts you know... And it's just... I don't want to live this lie."

"Your life is not a lie. Hell, it's hard I know, even I miss your mum. But she'll always live on in your heart and the same goes for your father."

"It hurts..."

"I know Audrey, I know it hurts but she wouldn't want you to be like this. She wouldn't want her little warrior to be so sad. She was an angel, your mother, and she'll always be with us. Even if not in person, we'll remember her and that way she won't be forgotten."

"Would you do the same?" I could tell by the way she tilted her head and wiped a tear from the side of her face that she knew what I was talking about.

"Of course I would, you're like my sister, and even though I wouldn't like to think about it... I'll never forget you Audrey because without you I wouldn't be the Phoenix I was today. Remember the time you convinced us to skip one of Umbridge's class?"

"Yeah... I took the blame for it when she found out the next day, saying how the two of you were in class and she probably didn't hear you call out an answer in class during registration and that I was the one skipping class, I got a detention but it was worth it. That was a great moment, it made me feel alive and carefree for a moment, ya know."

"Which memory did you use to cast your patronus the first time?" I knew what Phoenix was doing because she'd always ask me these sort of questions when I was here. But she had never asked me this one before.

"When... When I first became friends with the twins, surprisingly."

"Have you ever thought that you loved him before?"

"I... Yeah, I have. And I never told him that, but it's too late now. He just... I can't believe it Phoen." I told her as I placed my head on her shoulder.

"What did he do?"

"He doesn't trust me is what he does."

"Audrey..."

"Don't try to convince me otherwise, he was there when Cristal accused me, he believed her too. I could see it in his eyes."

"I... Oh shit Audrey, I'm so so sorry... You don't deserve this, you just don't!"

"My mum was wrong, I'm nothing like my father. He just smiled through the dark times and I'm just a whiny bitch who's unsatisfied with life."

"No, quit telling yourself that, dammit! Audrey I _grew_ with you! I know _better_ _than anyone else_ that you are none of those things and I know for a fact that you've been through so much. You don't deserve this Audrey and it's not fair because you did nothing wrong, the world isn't a fair place."

"It just pisses me off Phoenix! I _hate_ it, I _hate_ it so _fucking_ much. I hate the way people walk around acting like they give two fucks about you, I hate that people can break others down and act like everything is alright. I hate that people can't afford to go to sleep at night, I hate that people can't afford to eat breakfast and I fucking hate the way people act like it's bloodynormal. It's not dammit! It's _NOT FUCKING FAIR_. I _hate_ the fact that I'm standing here, crying about how my life is so shitty when there are people out there actually _suffering_ for God sakes. I'm crying over the fact that _I_ broke up with my boyfriend..." I ranted and Phoenix simply nodded.

"Audrey, do you love him?"

"... Yes."

"Despite what just happened?"

"I... Yeah, I do."

"Would you ever marry him?"

"Why is everyone asking me this question today?!"

"Just answer the darn question."

"... He was going to propose?!" I shreiked and Phoenix cradled her left ear.

"I... Erm... What? No!."

"Oh please, I've known you for years, I know you're lying."

"Argh! Fine, but if anyone asks I never told you! You technically found out on your own." She shrugged at me.

"Oh God... And I just broke up with him..."

"Hey, if it helps he's probably gonna apologise."

"I... Don't know. Maybe I should've known that he was not right for me... Maybe I should let him go."

"Aud... Listen, I know you're scared. I know you're scared you're going to lose him like you lost your mother or the fact that he might not be able to meet his child -If you ever have one of course- like you never met your father. But Audrey he is the one for you! I've seen it, heck, maybe I knew years ago and that was the reason I didn't want to go be friends with them. I just want you to be happy Audrey, please... Please don't do this to yourself."

"What would I do without you Phoen?"

"Seriously, that question keeps me up at night." We both looked at each other and the memory of saying the last two lines when we were 10 came flooding back and we burst into laughter.

"Let's go home Audrey." She told me as her hand curled around my wrist, attempting to apparate us but I shook my head.

"I... No... I can't." Phoenix pursed her lips and tapped her foot against the concrete on the floor.

"Come on Audrey... You can't keep running away from your problems."

"Yes... I can."

"Aud... I... Staying out here will resolve nothing."

"I just need some space. I can't go home. Not now. I'll come by later."

"I'll worry myself sick over you, you realise that."

"I know... And I'm sorry, I truly am. But I can't Phoen. I just can't..." She nodded her head in understanding, giving me a small side hug and apparating. The ghost of our voices left a strange eery atmosphere in the air.

oOoOo

[ ** _1] There's a reason for what happened with Audrey afterwards. Any form of depression doesn't just... disappear. Hell, life would be so much easier if it could._** **_Also I'm trying to write this fic in a realistic way so I thought this would be nice._**

 ** _Next chapter:_**

 _"Hang on a moment, I'm just look through some fi-" The words stopped falling out of my mouth as I stood there, gobsmacked._

 _"What's wrong Audrey?!" Cristal's concerned voice rang through my office and I had forgotten about the argument we had the other day and it seemed as if she did too._

 _"T-takashi Kushieda..." The name escaped my lips as I looked down onto the file, mly father's face smiling up at me._

 ** _Rate and Review. ~Leo_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Disclaimer: No. I do not own Harry Potter._**

oOoOo

For years I would ponder what really happened to my father. Before my mother died she told me that he had died in batloe but she knew no more. Telling me that when the time comes I would find out more somehow.

I never quite believed those words but I told her that I would find out what happened to my father, I promised it to her.

 _"Hana, your father-"_

 _"He died a hero, yes mum, I know."_

 _"Yes, he did. But... I say this because he died in battle." My eyes widened when she told me this. She would rarely speak of my father's death, and when she did she told me he died as a hero. "Have you learnt about the wizarding war?"_

 _"The one about Lord Voldemort?" My mothers eyes lit up when she heard me use Voldemort's name._

 _"You are like your father... So much like your father. My hana, he would also say his name. He'd tell me that he didn't care what people said, he was not scared of Voldemort. Your father was part of an organisation along with me and my older sister, it was called the order of the phoenix. Lily and James Potter were also part of this. Your father and your aunt were on a mission but... They never came back. I was so devastated but I tried to be strong for you, my dear." She told me, tears forming in her eyes._

 _"You're the strongest person I know mum."_

 _"You'll find out someday what happened to your father, my rose."_

 _"Dad... Yes mum, I will. I promise you, I will do it if it is the last thing I do! What was your sister's name?" I curiously asked earning a smile from her._

 _"Audrey."_

 _"You named me after her?"_

 _"Your name has a lot of value, it is a very beautiful name. Your father decided to name you Jayna Aoi Kushieda but I changed it to what your name is now after the tradegy..."_

 _"I love this name." I smiled._

 _"I also want you to promise me something else."_

 _"Yes mum?"_

 _"I want you to promise me that you'll never forget me."_

 _"I won't. I know I won't. I wouldn't even dream of it. I promise you that."_

 _"That's a relief... You are so much like your father... You have his eyes, his personality... I see so much of him in you, it hurts me sometimes when I think of how much he'd love you. Can I have a last promise?" She asked me as she played a hand on my cheek. Her brown eyes gazing into mines._

 _"Anything." I told her, placing my hand over hers._

 _"I may be gone soon but I'll meet your father again. I will see you too one day, and I will patiently wait for that day. I want you to promise me that you'll never forget that we will always look over you... Your father loves you Audrey, he told me so before he left. He told me that he'll always watch over you." I was brought to tears by the words my mother said to me._

 _"I promise."_

 _"I love you, Audrey Jayna Aoi Kushieda." Her voice came out weak._

 _"I love you too, mum." I told her as her hand went limp and fell from my face. I placed a hand over my mouth in attempt to hide my sobbing. "Mum...?" I asked her, my voice shaking before I was taken in by a rage of emotions that overcame me. "MUM?! MUM! MUMMY NO... DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME! DOCTOR, SAVE HER! SOMEONE, SAVE MY MUM! MUMMY, DON'T GO, PLEASE... I LOVE YOU MUM, DON'T LEAVE ME... SOMEONE, ANYONE HELP!" I screamed in agony, as I was being restrained by a nurse who came in with a few doctors, but I couldn't feel anything, it all felt so surreal. "NO! MUM! NO!" I screamed as the nurse told me to wait outside the door._

 _What felt like a century later, a doctor came out of the ward and shook his head, I got up even though I knew the words he was about to say. "I'm sorry for your loss." He told me in a small voice, bowing his head down and I crumbled to the floor, crying in agony._

 _"NO! NO! SHE'S NOT! YOU'RE LYING! THIS ISN'T REAL! THIS IS A DREAM AND I'M GONNA WAKE UP SOON AND ME AND MUM ARE GONNA GO TO PHOENIX'S HOUSE AND NO! SHE'S NOT GONE... SHE CAN'T BE GONE!" I screamed as I got up and staggered into the hospital ward, throwing my arms over my mums body and crying, her blonde locks tickling my face._

 _"I've called your godmother, she's on her way right now Audrey." I have no idea how he knows my name but I don't quite care._

 _"I just want my mummy back..." I whimpered, tears still streaming down my face. I eventually began coughing up some blood in my despair and the doctor had to take me out of the room.A few minutes later Phoenix rushed in along with her parents, Jennifier and Gavrail. Phoenix's father was Bulgarian and her mother British like mines._

 _"Oh, Audrey! How are you?!" Jennifier ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me._

 _"Why... Why have I lost everyone I love? Is this what reality is?!" I asked Jennifer and she shook her head._

 _"You have us, Audrey. And your mother will always be with us. Your mother is an angel and she finally reunited with your father and her sister, she learnt to spread her wi gs and flew. She's home Audrey and she has so much to tell your father about you. They will always watch over you sweetheart."_

oOoOo

I remembered that day with so much clarity, it hurt. I went home with Phoenix and her family that day and I lived with them until I moved out. Me and Phoenix shared a room, not due to a lack of room, but because we both wanted to. We some fun nights, staying up and talking.I breathed in the mild spring air, letting my lungs have a dose of fresh air. I let my hair out of the tight ponytail I restrained it in and let it fall around my head. I felt a sense of remorse knowing I'd have to go back home shortly.

It felt good to reflect on the good times but they always left me with a feeling of nostalgia and bitterness, knowing I could never have that time again, thinking I could've changed the outcome of something.

I looked up to the moon and closed my eyes before opening them to take in the comely scenery.

I went home hours later, much to Phoenix's dismay. She gave me a strange look before relaxing her shoulders and shaking her head.

"Serio-"

"Sorry, I'm going to be late for work." I interupted as I went to my room to get dressed.

"Audrey! Your coffee is done, you're making me late, hurry up!"

"Then leave the house Phoen. It's called _common sense_."

"Fine. See you later at home."

"Yeah, same goes for you." I told her as I gulped down my coffee and went to use the floo network.

That was my daily routine for 4 days. I was currently sorting through some files in my office that had been left over the past two decades. It was time for lunch and I heard the door open.

"Hang on a moment, I'm just look through some fi-" The words stopped falling out of my mouth as I stood there, gobsmacked.

"What's wrong Audrey?!" The person - Cristal's concerned voice rang through my office and I had forgotten about the argument we had the other day and it seemed as if she did too.

"T-takashi Kushieda..." The name escaped my lips as I looked down onto the file, my father's face smiling up at me.

"I-Isn't that your father's name? Do you want me to get Phoenix?" I shook my head as I walked back, sitting down on my chair.

"I'm going to read it." I told her in a monotone voice and she pressed her lips together before nodding.

I hovered my trembling hand over the file, the answers to the questions I've wanted my entire life. I carefully read the file, Cristal sat down in a nearby chair and spaced out, probably thinking about food.

I skimmed the file, not being able to read it properly due to the emotions overwhelming me but I got the main gist.

"Meredith Malfoy, mother of one. Mélia Malfoy..."

"Mélia's mum?! What about her."

"Meredith Malfoy was a death eater, she died towards the end of the Wizarding War in the same battle where she killed Takashi Kushieda and his sister-in-law Audrey Blanchard. Takashi Kushieda was married to the late Audrey Blanchard's younger sister, Jayna Kushieda née Blanchard..."

"Audrey..."

"I... Just..." I furrowed my brows as I made a resolution. "This isn't over yet."

"No, it's not."

"Oh, by the way... Can you ask the boss to postpone the mission I have? The duo changed base but history shows they'll be back on June 16th. We can attack that night because the travel will likely wear them down."

"Yeah, I'll go ask them."

"Thanks." I told her as I began searching through my files for more information.

oOoOo

"I feel like shit and look like shit; splendid." I complained as I walked into the living room of the house.

"Well no one told you to pull an all nighter." Cristal stated.

"Well, I'm off to bed. If anyone calls for me tell them to _fuck off_." I instructed as I walked up the stairs and collapsed onto my bed.

oOoOo

"She's sleeping, you can't go in her room!" I could hear Phoenix protest as I began to wake up.

"I just want to see how she's doing is all!" I heard a voice that sounded like... George?

"GEORGIE!" I yelled as I jumped off my bed and swung open the door to see Phoenix and George look like they're about to strangle one another.

"Audie!" He yelled back as I tackled him in a hug.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to see how you were doing. Want to take a mid-afternoon stroll around diagon alley?"

"You know it!"

"Isn't it sort of risky sinc-" Phoenix began but George shut her up with a glare. I wish I could do that, would make my life so much easier.

"Let's go, come on."

"Okie dokie."

oOoOo

"We did this in our seventh year, remember?" I asked George as he stopped in front of the joke store him and Fred owned. I immediately tensed up.

"Sorry, I'm just going to tell Fred that I won't be in for the rest of my shift."

"OK, I'll stay out here then." He raised an eyebrow and gentle grabbed my wrist.

"You know Fred, overdramatic prat. You're going to be waiting outside for a while."

"It's OK."

"That's becoming a terrible habit of yours to say, just come. Don't want someone to steal Audie from me."

"You make it sound like we're a couple. Careful, or Angie will find out you're cheating." I joked.

"Oh God, I'd be in trouble then." he laughed as he dragged me inside.

"George, no!" I laughed, knowing he wouldn't back down.

Fred's POV

I could see the two of them laughing as I stood at the counter, a wave of jealousy came over me and I almost became bitter to every person that came up to me with a question or wanted to purchase something.

Since the break up I haven't been able to concentrate on work properly and seeing _her_ , seeing Audrey act perfectly fine after everything just added salt to the wound.

I saw George drag her in as she a laugh escaped her lips, a genuine laugh that made my heart throb. I suddenly felt the urge to turn around and leave.

"Hey Freddie." George casually said as he stopped right in front of me, Audrey's face was red as she looked away from me and I felt a twinge of guilt.

"H-Hey Georgie..." I weakly said as George pointed to the back and was about to walk in before going over and telling Audrey what he was going to do.

"I'm going to check on something. I'll be right back." She nodded at him as he left.

She stood awkwardly near me, picking her nails and I felt like wrapping my arms around her like everything was alright again; like nothing even happened.

"How? How are you OK? How are you perfectly fine while I'm failing to pieces?!" That's when she shook her head at me.

"I'm not." She told me in a monotone voice.

"Audrey, please. Forgive me, I was being stupid. I... I love you, I truly do." She just pressed her lips before glaring at me.

"I am _not_ going to let you walk all over me. I'm _not_ going to let this happen. I should have known you're not right for me. I think that you should let me go, if you really love me, let go."

"You know I can't do that, you know I can't!" I grabbed her shoulders and bowed my head. "I can't give up on you, on us! Gosh, I've loved you for so long... Why should I have to let you go."

"Fred, stop. You're causing a scene..." She hushed but I shook my head at her.

"Audrey, you say that we're not meant to be but in my eyes even if we were planets apart, we'd meet one another. Because it's fate. You're my fate, and I wouldn't have it any other way." At this point she had tears in her eyes as shook her head at me.

"I told you, I'm not yours anymore! So why won't you let me go?!"

"Because I LOVE YOU DAMMIT! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS!"

"Fred... I..."

"I know what you're going to say now but hear me out, I know I was being irrational! I know I was being a bloody git, and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. And-"

"Fred, shut up you dork, I love you."

"I- What, love?!"

"I... Love you Fredrick Gideon Weasley, you know that, right."

"Does this mean you forgive me?" I would be lying if I said I wasn't hopeful. She leaned over to kiss me before whispering to me.

"Don't get ahead of yourself hun." I raised an eyebrow as she declared in a loud voice. "Yes, you idiot. I forgive you." She rolled her eyes at me.

"But I'm your idiot." I said wriggling an eyebrow.

"I know." She smiled at me and it seemed like the world stopped as the people in the shop applauding us, cheering. But it didn't matter at that moment. Her smile was what mattered, she was what mattered.

oOoOo

 _Next Chapter:_ _"Mélia." I whispered out in a rough whisper as I figured out who it was._

 _"MÉLIA FUCKING MALFOY!" I yelled, jumping out of my seat and running over straight to where Cristal should've been._


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N This series is coming to an end shortly. Don't worry, I got another story idea. Are you ready for another bad story?_**

 ** _On another depressing note; my updates will be less frequent (What do you mean less? You have no update schedule!). This is because I'm sorting through some personal things and I'm going through a really tough time._** **_I hope you understand._**

 ** _This has not been edited. (I'm too fucking depressed to deal with this rn)_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I never have and sadly, I never will._**

_

"Japan was amazing! We should've gone years ago!" Phoenix told me as we got back to England via Portkey.

"Well, I told you years ago but you said no."

"Well, this time Fred and George came with us."

"I still don't know why..."

"The past is in the past!" She exclaimed as Fred and George were talking between themselves.

"This really wasn't necessary."

"What is necessary is going home and checking if Cristal messed up the house!" She grinned as she grabbed my hand and apparated us giving me just about enough time to blurt out a goodbye for the twins.

_

"How was Japan?" Cristal asked me and Phoenix.

"It was great!" Phoenix told her.

"Hey... What's on your hand...?" I asked her as I saw something glisten on her hand.

"Everytime we go on vacation we miss something!" Phoenix exclaimation and I gave her an apologetic look.

Cristal blushed and covered her face and I innocently pried her hands away.

"Nu! Stop!" She swatted my hand away and I gave her an incredious look.

"Rude. So... Spill the beans." I asked, me and Phoenix leaning over in attempt to flaunt her.

"I... You can tell he proposed!" She was blushing scarlet.

"Yeah, but how did it happen. Come on Cris!" Phoenix tugged on her arm, a smirk growig on her face and Cristal jumped out of the seat and ran out the room, covering her cheeks with her hands much to the delight of me and Phoenix, who were doubling over in laughter.

"So, what's going on with you and that other guy at St Mungos?" I wriggled my eyebrows and she gave me disinterested look.

"Who?"

"I've seen you two flirting all the time, what was his name again... Caelan?"

"Yeah...? Things are going great...?"

"You like him." I bluntly stated and she leaned over and hit the back of my head with her hand and I grinned at her.

"So what?"

"Nothing."

"Shut up."

"OK."

_

I was at work, there an hour before my shift was going to end. I rested the side of my face against my left hand, I was reviewing some notes I took at the crime scenes and I was born out of my mind.

Albeit, one thing kept bothering me. These were all in a pattern and heck, the further I investigated into the more I felt like I knew who the dark wizard is.

"Mélia." I whispered out in a rough whisper as I figured out who it was.

"MÉLIA FUCKING MALFOY!" I yelled, jumping out of my seat and running over straight to where Cristal should've been.

"Cristal... Cristal Seabrooke? You know where she is?" I asked a short man when I reached the department who simply shook his head. I sighed as I continued to search until I heard she went home. I apparated home and I practically broke down the front door in my haste.

"Aud? You should calm down." Cristal told me as she turned from the seat on the couch she was sitting on, her mouth filled with vanilla ice-cream and her hand currently holding the tub.

"It's Mélia!"

"She died? Thank the good lord!" Phoenix exclaimed as she walked into living room from the kitchen.

"Unfortunately, no. But... I bare bad news." I told her.

"What?" Cristal asked, knitting her eyebrows.

"She's erm... The dark wizard who put the country in frenzy."

"Fuck..." Cristal cursed, getting up and punching the wall.

"Hurting yourself isn't going to help." I plainly stated.

"Mélia? You sure?" Phoenix inquired.

"Phoenix, we were friends with this girl for 5 years, I've learnt that she's a creature of habit. Heck, she even left traces behind. Do you know anyone else that attempts to change their footprints for no reason?"

"She did use to walk in the snow from heel to toe."

"Yeah, you'd get one footprint with the bottom half and the other with the top in the snow. I saw it..."

"It doesn't snow in June though Audrey!" Cristal argued.

"It does in December... Depending on where you live. She was Scotland, OK. God knows it rarely snows in England."

"How long have you been searching for her?!" Phoenix placed her head in her hands.

"Geez. I dunno... We've been secretly investigating this since the first crime that took place, then made it public knowledge after shit got real."

"That's..." Cristal began but I cut her off.

"Yeah, I realise progress was lagging but we had to take care of other things too, there are still death eaters out there."

"I'm coming with you." Phoenix looked at me, determination written on her face but I simply shook my head.

"No. Absolutely not. Both of you are going to go to work that day. Besides, if I let you go then everyone else is gonna wanna go. You guys need to realise it's not just a joke, I'm not doing this for fun. I could get killed going there, I don't want you both to die."

"You could die out there, exactly! That's why we need to come out there fighting beside you!" Phoenix grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye. "We're not idiots. We fought in the war and we were part of the Order of Phoenix and Dumbledore's Army. We know this isn't some fun game, we know that it's risky as heck out there. That's why we need to go, we need to go so that you don't get hurt."

"That's not what I'm worried about, dammit! It doesn't matter if I die, don't you understand?! I would rather die than be the cause of the death of one of you two. I have nothing to live for anyways, I have people waiting for me afterwards."

"What about Fred?" Cristal asked.

"What about him..?

"You act like it wouldn't matter if you died but it would Audrey, dammit. Stop acting like your some fucking hero. Quit trying to act humble because there is no way in _hell_ that we're just going to be all fine and dandy with you going on a suicide mission!"

"Cris is right. We're not going to let you do that on your own. You're going to have to accept our help whether you like it or not."

"No. No way am I letting you come with me."

"You got no choice." Cristal shrugged and I frowned.

"Fine. I can't tell you not to it seems like. Just, please... Don't tell Fred."

"We're telling him." Cristal told me with a neutral- almost uninterested- look.

"Noooo!" I shrieked, lunging over to punch her but she was too far away and she ran away leaving me alone with Phoenix to pout.

"Could've been a lot worse."

"Shut up."

_

"She actually told him..." Phoenix told me the news two days later as I was sitting in the garden, staring at the flowers as I sat on the sofa swing outdoors. The warm summer air filling my lungs.

"Seriously... Argh." I bit my bottom lip and poured myself a glass of champange. "I really hate Summer." I told her as my eyes stared into the distance.

"I know Audrey."

"Like... Really hate it."

"I know Audrey."

"What do you think he's going to do?" I asked and she shook her head at me before reaching over to grab the glass out of my hand and threw the content onto the floor, the main victim being the grass.

"Who knows. Maybe attempt to get you to stay and knowing you that's not happening. So he'll probably tag along."

"And so will Malfoy."

"Yeah. Probably. They recently got engaged, why would he let her go on a suicide mission on her own?"

"Reasons, perhaps. Maybe he wants her to secretly die?" I joked but seeing the look on Phoenix's face made me clarify it. "Just a joke."

"Not funny."

"I have been told I have a dry sense of humour."

"Someone told you that you have humour?! Wow... They must be really deluded because I don't think you know how knock knock jokes work."

"Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

"You know."

"You know who?"

"... I'm gonna let that sink in." I told her as the sofa gently rocked us.

"You're a prat."

"You're rude."

"Says you."

_

June 16th

It was the day we were suppose to stop Mélia, it was extremely windy as I made my way to Diagon Alley at 10pm.

Cristal hadn't been able to keep her big mouth shut and everyone in our small circle of friends found out about the suicide mission we were going on.

Hence why I was going to Diagon Alley right now, Draco was planning to tag along on our mission and so was Fred, much to my dismay.

"I don't understand why you're coming along! I'll be fine by myself! I've done this before plus I just have to stall them until the ministry come!" I told him, attempting to change his mind last minute as I reached my destination.

"I'm coming with you no matter what you say, because I love you."

"I know. Who doesn't?"

"I can name a few..."

"Moving on!"

"Are we going?"

"Yeah yeah. Hang on."

_

So now we were standing in front of a cave on the top of a random mountain in Scotland. The cool summer breeze swaying my blonde hair around me. Cristal's big round brown eyes glanced around to see what was around us.

"This is so cliché, couldn't they have thought of a better base?"

"No, they couldn't. Try to understand, it must be hard being an idiot." I told her in a bored tone as I tapped my wand and hoped the rock that covered the cave from muggle eyes would disappear.

"Let me try." Phoenix told me as she murmured an incantation, the rock disappearing in a flash.

"Aww... I suck at magic."

"No you don't."

"You're real funny if you think I am." The cave was exactly what you would expect a cliché villain base to look like. Dim, dense and damp. I pinch my nose to avoid smelling the bad odour. "Lumos." I held my wand up in front of me so that I could see what was happening.

Rocks crunched underneath my feet as I walked and I heard a pair of voices commune.

"Are you an idiot? I know the ministry came for us!" Mélia's voice echoed, her British accent was more prominent than it was years ago despite her living in Bulgaria for a while. "Argh, I can't deal with this right now! Let's just kill them quickly and this over with." More footsteps echoed throughout the dense cave and the noise was coming closer to us.

I froze for a second but shook my head, holding out an arm to prevent anyone else.

"Stop." I whispered in a rough voice.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here? Audrey, Phoenix and Cristal." Mélia tutted as she strolled over to us, her brown hair swaying.

"Mel... It doesn't have to be this way!" Phoenix yelled out behind me.

"My exact thoughts but... It has to be this way because of you all unfortunately."

"Shut the fuck up." Draco casually told her cooly.

"Ah, dear cousin Draco. How is everything?"

"Better now that you're out of my life. But it'll be way better now that I'm about to kill you." He told her as he raised his wand only for Mélia to disarm him.

"Dear cousin, don't you know that I'm much better than you at this?" She patronised and Draco glared at her. "I'm getting bored... Don't worry I'll finish you all nice and quick."

"In your dreams."

"Us two against you 5? Please, I'd say that's reality." A voice spoke from behind Mélia and my breath hitched in my throat.

"You..." I mustered out, I felt Fred grab my hand and I was thankful.

"Audrey... I... I'm so... So sorry for what I did to you..." He apologised as he walked over to stand in front of me.

"No you're not, you're not damn sorry!" I yelled at Rudolf.

"Just give me a chance to-"

"No, I gave you one too many chances before!" My voice trembled and I could feel my blood boil.

"I loved you Audrey, and I still do. I swear to God that I'm really sorry, truly sorry. Can you... forgive me?" He grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest.

For a moment I almost believed his words, I almost believed that he loved me and I almost ran into his arms. But then I realised that that was not reality.

Fred growled as he pulled me away from Rudolf's touch, he punched him in the face and sneered at him.

"Keep your hands off my girl!" He told him as he wrapped an arm around me and keot me close. Mélia cleared her throught to grab our attention.

"Even though I love a good romance scene, this isn't the time and place. Avada Kedavra!" She pointed her wand towards Fred and I quickly murmured a counter spell against her after I recovered from my shock less than a second she threw the curse.

"Don't even try to touch my man." I grinned as I threw jinxes at her. Rudolf got up and began dueling with Draco and Fred. Phoenix and Cristal backed me up but what happened next was the most unexpected...


	12. Chapter 12

It happened so fast, one moment I was grinning as I fought alongside my best friends the next a flash of green light came out of Mélia's wand. The last words Cristal had said before she was taken aback by the blow and fallen were 'this is why I love you guys'.

Time felt like it stopped for a moment as I saw Cristal's lifeless body lay there. Everyone stopped fighting and Mélia was apologising, saying she never wanted to kill Cristal but the words fell to deaf ears. I fell to the floor and began shedding tears, people yelling around me. I felt like I did the day my mother died, the doctor telling me she was gone. I hated life, I hated how everything had to turn out like this...

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU KILLED HER! SHE'S GONE AND SHE'LL NEVER COME BACK! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" Phoenix screamed, lunging for Mélia only to be stopped by Fred who had tears rolling down his cheeks, shaking me out of my thoughts.

"Cris... Cristal no... Come on, wake up... Stop fooling around..." I pleaded with her to no avail.

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE! SHE HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, UNLIKE YOU!" Phoenix yelled at her as she steadied her wand. Members of the ministry barged in and I saw Draco's eyes go over Cristal's dead body. His body froze and he walked over to it almost mechanically before he fell to the floor, clasping and clutching Cristal's body.

"No... She can't be gone..."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND THEN STAB YOU REPEATEDLY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I'M GOING TO LEAVE YOUR BODY OUTSIDE FOR THE CROWS TO FEED OFF!" I shrieked as Phoenix and I began sobbing loudly, crying for our best friend to come back.

"Audrey, let's go." Fred grimly told me, tears in his eyes, he crouched down and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and i sobbed into his chest.

"It's not fair! It's not!" I cried as I could hear the ministry attempt to capture Mélia and Rudolf in the background.

"We got them!" Someone yelled and the five of us were struck out of our grief for a moment. Fred rubbed my back as we got up. Everything felt so dark, so lonely without the light we took for granted, her name being Cristal.

oOoOo

Home did not feel like home once we returned. As soon as we came to the residence I cast a locking charm over Cristal's door so that we couldn't enter it and shut myself in my room. It had been days since she left but I still couldn't get over it all, how could I? We didn't eat, we didn't go out, we didn't laugh. We couldn't be happy. Nothing felt the same; the house once filled with merriment and joy now was filled with sadness and tears.

Because she was one of our sources of happiness.

And now she's gone.

It had been a week damn it, and all I could do was lock myself in my room and cry.

I couldn't drink anything because Phoenix threw all the alcohol away.

I bet she regrets it now.

oOoOo

1 week later...

Phoenix's mum had come as soon as she realised we didn't leave the house for so long. She put her foot down and packed up all our essential things, she made us live in the family mansion until we became happier.

It was too hard... Crying myself to sleep every night and thinking about her. I knew the same was happening to Phoenix, who ended up coughing blood from sobbing too much once.

I couldn't escape from the memories of Cristal, I could see her and feel her there but the words she said always seemed to fade away. I know she had to leave. She was born with wings but I guess she was never happy until the angels sang to her, whispering that it was her time to go. I never got to say goodbye to her and it weighs on me. Ever since she went away I've just been a face in the crowd, only difference to the other people in the same crowd was that I was desperatedly vying for her attention, pleading for her to come back down and live another day with us.

But now I'm ashes to ashes, dust to dust, I had become the person I thought I left behind.

It was harder having to deal with the fact that I had gotten some sort of bug and began vommiting in the morning.

Phoenix's mother tried to make us eat our meals but I only ate a bit, not feeling up for any more.

"Audrey, I think I know what's wrong with you..." She told me one day, gently playing with a few strands of hair in her hand. The act was soothing and she had first started to do it when I lost my mother.

"What?" I asked her, my voice sounded so dead to my own ears that I was shocked.

"I think... You're pregnant."

oOoOo

It had been a few hours later and I was holding a plastic stick that muggles call a pregnancy test. I sucked my breath as I saw a plus sign on it and shook my head.

"No, no, no... Please tell me this isn't real!"

"Audrey, it came out positive, why aren't you happy?" Phoenix sighed at me, I could hear her roll sidewards on the bed from the bathroom.

"I can't do this! No... No, no, no!" I yelled.

"Go talk to Fred." She told me in a dull tone, she was no longer the Pheonix I knew and loved but a colder and more monotone version. Grief does strange things to people but we all handle it differently, I suppose.

Our only hope was that time would heal these wounds.

But the more they heal, the worse it hurts.

oOoOo

"Audrey, what's wrong?" Fred questioned as soon he saw me walk into the joke shop at 4pm. It was the first time I was wearing something other than my pajamas in days, I had opted to wear a black shirt and black jeans with a leather jacket.

"No. I can't do this." I told him. "I just can't."

"Hey, hey. It's alright, take a deep breath. What's wrong love? I saw you yesterday..." He brought me to the back and I told him what was going on.

"Fred, I'm pregnant."

An awkward silence settled over us.

"You... What?"

"I'm pregnant."

"I'm going to be a dad...?"

"I... I can't do it. I can't have this child."

"Why not?" he frowned at me and grabbed both of my hands.

"No, no way in hell am I having this child." I shook my head at him and I tried to shake his hands off mine but he tightened his grip on me, not enough to hurt me though.

"Audrey stop it, you're talking like a crazy person."

"Well maybe that's just what I am! Your crazy girlfriend!" I cried as I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head against his chest and sobbed quietly. He tightly wrapped his arms around me.

"You know that's not what I meant. And you are not just my crazy girlfriend, you are way more than that."

"I can't do this..."

"Yes you can, you can do it. Even though Cristal isn't here doesn't mean she left us forever. She's here in our hearts and her presence is around us. She's never really gone unless we think she is."

"How could you do that? Just act like everything is OK, when she _just died_! Did her friendship mean _nothing_ to you?!"

"It's not OK, I know Audrey. I'm hurting on the inside, I'm hurting. It hurts when I think about Cristal, it hurts, OK?! But I have to be strong, for you and now... I also have to be strong for our child."

"I don't want it to be born into a world where I'm still shattered into pieces that you're picking up for me..."

"It won't be Audrey! I know you want a child but-"

"Yeah, I do-"

"You have to stay strong!" He told me, placing a hand under my chin and tilting it to face him. "Just like your mother did for you."

" _Just like mum did for her flower..._ " I whispered to myself in Japanese. "I can do it!"

"Yes, you can!"

"You're going to be a father..."

"Mum's gonna kill me!" He was suddenly bought to the realisation and gently slapped a hand against his forehead.

"Oh crap, I forgot to think about how Molly would react..."

"We're going to have to think now then!"

"But it's stressful!"

"Crap, stop stressing Audrey!"

"Well stop panicking Fred! You're not helping one bit!" I placed my hands on my hips as he levelled out his breathing.

"Right... Sorry..."

"We'll get though this, all of this. Me and you, you and me, together." I told him as I entwined our hands together.

"Together."

oOoOo

It was Sunday when I had to go, I was feeling slightly better. I was trying to take care of myself for the child I was bearing and Jennifer was glad that I was. She'd attempted to make sure all my meals were nutritious and if I was craving something she'd either make it herself or get Gavrail to buy it from somewhere.

That's the kind of family Phoenix had. Despite all their wealth, they'd do all their work by themselves.

I browsed my wardrobe and decided on wearing a mid-length black full-sleeve dress. There were sequins on the hem of the sleeves but otherwise it was quite plain. I tied back my hair with a black ribbon and wore black plain flats. I forced Phoenix to get up, hoping a visit to the Weasleys residence would cheer her up even in the slightest, because I miss the way everything was. I'd trade in all my tomorrows if I could only have one yesterday; a yesterday with Cristal in it.

She weakly argued with me at first before deciding to go, she came out in 10 minutes looking like the same old Phoenix she used to be before but I knew better. Black long sleeve jumper with embellished gems on the top, black jeans and ankle boots. A black clip holding back a lock of her brown hair.

"Let's go." She told me, grabbing onto my forearm loosely before I apparated us.

The house bought back a sense of familiarity just by looking at it. I walked up to the door and knocked on it, Phoenix trotted behind me.

"I'll get it- Audrey?!" George gasped, as he peered at my face. His eyes had bags under them and I assume why.

"Cristal?" I nodded towards the dark bags and he sighed, raising his hands in defeat.

"Got me there detective Kushieda." He chuckled and let us in.

"Where's Fred?" I asked him as he placed a hand on his chest in mock hurt.

"You just came and you're already asking for your boyfriend? My God... You'd have thought she would've missed us too."

"Sorry Georgie. I don't have time on my schedule to miss a loser like you."

"Ouch..." He winced in mock hurt and I rolled my eyes as I let out a genuine laugh, George's eyes gently creased in a smile. "I made you laugh..."

"That you did... Thank you."

To an outsider we would look crazy, we would look broken. But maybe that's just what we are. Happiness is hard to find these days for me, for us, so I'll cling onto anything that makes me feel alive. I'll hold onto it as long as time will let me and as all good things leave, I will have to learn to let it go.

"Audrey! It's been a long time!" Ginny's voice perked up behind me and I turned around only to catch the younger redhead's arms around me.

"Yeah, it has been! How are things going for you?"

"Great! In fact Teddy's actually shown his first sign of accidental magic. Made a flower dance in his hand."

"Peculiar to say the least but that's great!"

After talking to Ginny and later Bill for a while it became time to eat dinner and I still hadn't seen Fred, I heard that he hadn't come yet but I was growing impatient.

I sat down to eat dinner next to Phoenix as I talked to the rest of the Weasleys as I heard a door shut and everyone looked up to find Fred walking through the doorway.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late." He apologised, sitting down next to me and swiftly kissing me on the cheek before I had time to react.

"Are we going to tell them now...?" I asked him nervously and he grabbed one of my hands and nodded.

"What're you two gossiping about?" Molly inquired, Fred and I stood up to share the news with everyone.

"Erm... Actually..."

"We have some news to share." Fred stated, looking into my eyes as I nodded at him. "We're going to be parents."

There was a small silence over the dining table and then everyone began cheering. clapping and congratulating us. I felt a warmth in my heart as Fred threw an arm around me, bringing me close and smiling at my face. Molly wrapped her arms around us and for a moment everything was perfect. Phoenix was smiling as she cheerfully teased us with George. Angelina asked what gender we thought the child was and Ron, Charlie, Ginny and Harry were placing bets on the gender. Fleur and Audrey were asking how I was dealing with the pregnancy so far. Arthur and Percy watched from a far, happiness written on their faces. Everything waz perfect.

Until I looked around me and realised that someone was missing.

Cristal was missing.

oOoOo

 ** _A/N Sorry for being away for so long, I needed to take a break I think. This series is coming to an end! It's been one heck of a rollercoaster for sure. I'm pretty sure I've said this before but I don't plan on writing up a sequel. Heck, I'm probably going to stick to writing the occasional one-shots here and there. Maybe I'll even write one about their lives in Hogwarts after they became friends. Who knows?_**

 ** _Anyways the next chapter will be an extra, you don't have to read it. It's a surprise though~ I'll have it up a few hours after posting this. Then I'll post the epilogue a few days later._**

 ** _Rate and Review ~Leo_**


	13. Headcannons and facts

Haha...

Surprise?

I'm going to write some facts and headcannons for my oc's; Audrey, Cristal, Mélia, Phoenix and Rudolf.

First fact of the day: I'm writing this up because I have really terrible writer's block and then after a conversation with a friend who gave me this idea I decided to do it. It sounded like fun.

Second fact: Audrey, Cristal and Phoenix are all losely based off of real people. I planned this story with 'Phoenix' (I did all the writing and around half of the story planning but... Teamwork?). These aren't our real names by the way, in case you were wondering. I also found it easier to write about people you tend to surrond yourself by or about experiences you've been through. Of course none of us are orphans in reality and heck, Phoenix isn't even that wise in reality!

Third fact: Mélia was suppose to be based off of one of my best friends that I've been friends with for a long time but I scrapped the idea as I developed the storyline into something different.

Fourth fact: Mélia was suppose to die in her Hogwarts years. She was supposed to be the reason Phoenix didn't want to be friends with Fred and George. She was suppose to be scared of losing someone again and because of what had happened the last year with Cedric and the whole Voldemort thing she didn't want to add more people into her life. This was because she didn't want to lose anyone again. I later on also scrapped this idea after deeper thinking, I first planned to have Mélia fake her death or something along those lines but it seemed very predicitable. So hence the existence of Rudolf. (I kinda wanted to base off evil Mélia off this bitch who used to be my... 'friend' last year. Lmao, she thought she was cool and all but she was just stupid. I'm sorry but it's the truth. Fun fact: We call her Satan now.)

Fifth fact: Audrey and Cristal are very big fans of Set It Off in reality. Audrey was an oc who was suppose to be based off of me very losely but in reality we only share a few hobbies and something darker that I would rather not talk about. Cristal and I get along very well and one of the reasons is due to the fact that our music tastes are quite similar. We both actually sang a duet of the song 'partners in crime' during a gym class. In which I was obviously rocking and Cristal was actually quite good.

Sixth fact: I wrote this because I promised Phoenix a fic. True story, overbearing jealous prat. I understand I got mad skills but really Phoenix? *sigh* I didn't have to do this but I was in a good mood that day. So ya...

Seventh fact: I was originally going to give Audrey a sibling but I scrapped that idea. I changed this because I didn't know how this sibling was going to fit into the story in all honesty.

Eigth fact: Halfway through I planned to discontinue this. The reason for this is super complicated and I'd rather just not talk about really. Personal issues, you get the deal. The only reason I continued was well... A secret.

Ninth fact: Audrey would definitely get hurt again. Hell, this sounds super cruel but she does. In attempts to avoid getting hurt again she gets hurt by the person she least suspects. Talk about tearing down people.

Tenth fact: I was going to kill of Audrey in the end. Bare with me, I planned to add a lot of angst at the end by killing off the main character but as I thought about the story even more, like Mélia, this wouldn't work out. The aftermath would make no sense so I need her alive.

Audrey Headcannons:

\- She visits her mother's grave at least once a month.

\- When she saw her father's grave in Japan she sat there and cried for a whole 4 hours.

\- She goes to sleep clutching the necklace Fred gave her.

\- She tends to play with her lips when she thinks.

\- She actually went on a date with Fred twice after the yule ball but then decided she didn't want to start a relationship with him because the time wasn't right.

-Their first date was actually a midnight stroll.

\- The second was on the Hogmeade trip.

\- Despite telling some jokes she can't stand them most of the time.

\- Used to suck at DADA during her first three years at Hogwarts.

\- She was actually really scared of Snape.

\- Did not get on Umbridge's bad side after the bunking incident.

\- Was really proud of herself after joinng Dumbledore's Army.

\- Her guilty pleasure is drinking Pepsi. When she discovered the muggle drink she became addicted to Pepsi Max.

\- Unlike Cristal and Phoenix, she doesn't really like sweet things a lot.

\- She's a chocolate addict though she cut down a little.

\- Her patronus is a St Bernard.

\- Despite making some heat of the moment decisions she's quite level headed.

\- She may seem innocent but she's a troublemaker. This trait helped her get away with a lot of things in Hogwarts.

\- She used to be really nice before Rudolf screwed her over. She was what people would say 'too nice'.

\- She and Cristal used to be cold to Slytherins for two months after Mélia started being bitchy to them before realising they weren't all bad again.

\- She made up a lullaby for her son, Takashi, before he died. When he died she sang the song consistantly for two days in attempts to wake up from her 'nightmare'.

\- Nearly went insane in her grief but Phoenix saved her from herself the first time without realising why she was sad.

\- Saved Mélia's life in Hogwarts on multiple occasions.

\- She used to think she loved Rudolf.

\- But when she realised she was in love with Fred the whole time she knew she never loved Rudolf.

\- She fell in love with him during the yule ball but never realised until years later.

\- Used to hate her name for a whole year after her mother died. Cristal and Pheonix called her Audie during this time, hence the nickname.

\- Became a bit of a heartbreaker a while after she broke up with Rudolf.

Cristal Headcannons

\- Is undeniably the best at art, she can draw some of the most amazing things in minutes. The difference between her and Audrey's art is that Audrey spends way more time on detail. Nonetheless Cristal is better than drawing.

\- But she flops at colouring?

\- Like this one time Audrey shook her head because the lines just weren't right.

\- Has a massive sweet tooth, she used to smuggle muggle sweets during Hogwarts years.

\- Cristal's favourite lesson used to be potions.

\- She had this ability to just... connect with magical creatures.

\- Seriously considered working at St Mungos because of her muggle mother.

\- Used to hate Phoenix but put up with her for Audrey in their first year.

\- Cristal used to have a crush on Rudolf and used to avoid Audrey for the few months they dated.

\- Never admitted it though.

\- Cristal was secretly the most romantic person out of the trio.

\- But, shh...

\- Used to hate purebloods during her first year. Especially Phoenix.

\- Her patronus is a rattlesnake.

\- She's scared of the dark.

\- She and Audrey once burnt brownies when they were baking at Cristal's house. Her mother was not pleased.

\- Once made a drunken confession to a random stranger. Audrey has it recorded but Cristal doesn't even know it exists, heck she doesn't even know what happened that night.

\- Was nearly turned into a werewolf during her 6th year.

\- Audrey saved her when she was on her first date with Fred.

\- Cristal used to have a crush on George but got over it two years later.

\- Similarly to Audrey, she became a heartbreaker.

\- Like they had such a reputation.

\- Could tell Fred was in love with her long before even Fred himself knew.

\- She knew they were going to end up together.

\- Always intrigued by Draco Malfoy but forgot all about him after the war due to a small concussion she had.

\- The only thing she remembered was the first time they met and he called her a mudblood. Audrey jinxed him in two seconds and sneered at him.

\- She and Audrey never believed in the concept of true love until after the entire Draco and Fred ordeal.

Phoenix's headcannons

\- She was good at drawing too! So was her colouring!

\- But no one could outmatch perfectionist Audrey's colouring.

\- Was called the 'mum' of the trio.

\- Was always smothered with work, either from family or school.

\- Talk about hectic family life.

\- Her family is super rich!

\- Her father actually invents magic tools!

\- Was hurt when Cristal called her a 'stupid snob' in their first year.

\- When Cristal got sorted into Ravenclaw she felt like doing an air punch secretly though.

\- Kept getting notes from a secret admirers in her 6th year. She never found out who they were.

\- Her mother was really into philosphy, no wonder she's so wise.

\- Her patronus is ironically, a phoenix!

\- It's also her favourite magical creature.

\- She's a lightweight drinker so she avoids drinking.

\- Sees Audrey like her older sister.

\- Tends to smother her at times because she knows how hard everything is for her.

\- Her parents wanted her to get married to a guy who was well off and pure blooded but they weren't forcing her to or were blood suprimists.

\- There was actually a scandal about this.

\- It took a while for them to sort out.

\- Audrey eventually got involved despite Phoenix telling her to leave it.

\- It was her idea to become friends with Mélia! She felt so guilty afterwards...

\- Unlike the other two she was never heartbreaker or a player. She was searching for a serious relationship and always scoffed at the two for making fun out of love.

\- Always felt slightly envious of how similar they were.

\- Phoenix has a younger brother who moved to the US to work for the ministry there. This made their relationship quite tense and he wasn't mentioned in the story because of this.

\- Loves chocolate as well and steals from Audrey's stash sometimes.

\- Gets caught a lot.

Méila facts:

\- She hated being a Malfoy.

\- She also hated Draco Malfoy.

\- Her relationship with her mother was really strained. A simple conversation would leave the atmosphere tense for a solid five minutes.

\- She never wanted to hurt the trio.

\- She never wanted to study the dark arts but she was forced to by her mother.

\- The sorting hat was about to place her in Ravenclaw.

\- She secretly wanted to be placed in Gryffindor but the sorting hat said she was too much of a coward.

\- She actually felt pain and regret when she hurt Cristal.

\- Never wanted to move to Durmstrang either but she had to because of her mother. Once she was there she distanced herself because she was helping them get over her!

\- She actually fell in love with Rudolf and never found out what he did to Audrey.

Rudolf facts:

\- This guy actually loved Audrey.

\- He was going through an extremely rough time and didn't know what to do or what to think.

\- He was driven somewhat insane by the grief of finding out that someone killed his family a day before he returned back home for Easter. His mother, father, brother, 3 sisters... All gone.

-Didn't even attend the damn funeral due to his grief.

\- Realised what he had actually done to Audrey months after it happened but it was too late. Audrey and Phoenix both jinxed him and Audrey simply shook her head and turned around, spitting at his foot.

\- He always remembered that moment.

\- But he knew he didn't deserve her, not after everything else.

\- His apology that day was actually sincere!

\- But after what happened to Cristal she would never take him back!

\- Plus she had that red head now and he made her happy.

\- He would've died for her damn it!

\- But... He loved her enough to let her go.

I had so much fun writing this~


	14. Epilogue

**A/N sorry I took so long to post this but . last chapter! Welp... It's been a tough journey, hasn't it.** **Disclaimer: No rights for lil Leo whatsoever**

 **oOoOo**

6 Months Later

Audrey's POV

It had been half a year since Cristal died, and we were still healing, savouring the occasional happiness here and there. Most nights I would wake up in a pool of sweat screaming her name. Phoenix would look at me, her red rimmed eyes staring inti the abbys of darkness. We were going to Cristal's grave in the morning, as we did practically everyday. The grief of the tradegy had changed the course of our daily lives, our co-workers were beginning to grow angry at our sadness but it didn't matter at this point. Nothing mattered. I placed a hand on my stomach, I had tried to be as happy as I could've been and it was hard as hell. Knowing that I'd never be able to have the same meal with my best friend at lunch, knowing that she wouldn't tease me, knowing that I couldn't trick her with my lies. The picture of the three of us was hung in the room, a protection charm cast onto it so that we don't shatter it in our despair. I could hear Phoenix shuffle next to me and I willed myself to face her.

"I can't do this Audrey, I can't..." Her heartbroken whispers made me close my eyes and nod. When I opened them again I felt tears in them.

"I know, I can't either. IT'S ALL MY FAULT DAMMIT!" I yelled, propping myself up and slamming my fist on the bedside table next to me, a frenzied hand running through my tangled hair.

"We could've saved- I could have saved her. God. Why, why did she have to leave us?!" Her soft words were filled with sorrow and she got up and punched the wall, her knuckles were full of blisters already. I got out of bed and threw on random clothes and a winter jacket, Phoenix shot me a questioning look before following in my footsteps.

The walk to the graveyard wasn't long, we found that we were too depressed to use magic. In my case, it reminded me too much of my best friend at this point, I presume it was the same for Phoenix.

The sound of autumn leaves that fell the last season crunching under my foot was the only sound I could hear, the autumn sunlight gleaned and I could see the it reflect off the ring on my left hand.

That's right... Fred proposed to me last month. I paused to think about the memory for a moment, smiling to myself for a second but then I remembered where I was and what else had happened. I continued to walk on.

I stopped in front of the grave that said _Cristal Seabrooke_. I dropped down next to it, letting the tears stream down my face. I noticed Draco was sitting next to me, his eyes puffy from sorrow and his heavy bags evident.

"I loved her and she died." He croaked out after a couple of hours when Phoenix reluctantly went home to get ready for work. I wiped a few tears from my eyes and looked towards Draco.

"Want to know what I'm going to name her?" I softly smiled, looking down at my stomach.

"What if it's a boy?" He softly chuckled and for a second I almost forget everything that was happening and it felt like it was months ago. It felt like we were still living in a world with Cristal in it.

"That's what Freddie says but I'm almost certain it's a girl."

"What are you going to name her?" He softly murmured.

"Cristal Jayna Weasley." I smiled at him, I could see a soft smile rise up on his face, I could the rustling of leaves from behind me. I took no note of it because loads of people came to visit the ones they lost.

"I'm sorry." The person said with a voice all to familiar, I turned around and my breath was hitched in my throat. How was she here? It was impossible...

"I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL BEAT YOU TO DEATH AND STAB YOU COUNTLESS TIMES." I shrieked, lunging for her only to be held back by Draco. "LET GO OF ME! LET GO DRACO! LET ME GO! YOU KILLED HER, WE SAVED YOUR LIFE AND YOU FUCKING KILLED HER. WE SHOULD'VE JUST LET YOU DIE YOU BITCH! GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE YOU CAME FROM."

Mélia chuckled and kicked a stick. "You won't kill me." She stated as if it were a fact and I snarled at her, Draco's trembling hand around my arm made me realise that he was retraining himself, Cristal wouldn't have wanted this...

"Try me." I threatened in a deadly voice.

"I know you won't kill me because I couldn't do it myself..." She told me, a hand going through her brown hair, her brown eyes looking right into my black ones.

"What... What do you mean?!" Draco's voice trembled and Mélia took a deep breath.

"I-I... Cris-Cristal... She's not... Dead."

"YOU'RE LYING, YOU BITCH, YOU'RE LYING!" I roared at her, my voice shakin with fury. I would be lying, however, if I said that I didn't feel a sliver of hope from those words.

"It's true, I couldn't kill her. I just put her in a coma."

"Well fuck naming my kid after her..."

"How do we wake her up?" Draco asked.

"You're gonna need our help." A deep voice said from behind Mélia and I recognised the voice as Rudolf. "And you don't have much time left to save her."

"What do you mean?" His eyes met my ones and he smiled at me, a sincere smile that I hadn't seen since a long time.

"Exactly what I just said. She doesn't have much long left."

"And you're gonna need our help waking her up."

"Can we do this?" Draco asked me, he looked confused, clinging onto the last shed of hope he had.

"Fuck it. What've we got left to lose anyways." I told him, shrugging as a smile rose on my lips. "I need some adventure in my life anyways, Fred won't let me do anything..."

"Maybe because you look like a darn whale."

"Shut up you two!" Mélia barked.

"When do we go?"

"It's now or never." Rudolf told us, nodding towards Mélia.


End file.
